The Pre-Ramble: Now that the mercury has dipped below eighty-degrees, we Minnesotans begin to brace ourselves for the coming winter months and the inevitable return of the simultaneously dreaded and revered s-n-o-w. Without going too far adrift here, it has been noted and debated that the Eskimo language has between four and one-hundred distinct words for the concept of snow. Seriously. There is an Eskimo word to describe “snow on the ground” (aput), “falling snow” (qana), “drifting snow” (piqsirpoq), “a snowdrift” (qimuqsuq), and even a word to describe the state of being “covered in frosty sparkling snow” (patuqutaujuq). Beyond flakes, flurries and blizzards, the English language is pretty much limited to the four letter “s” word.

Where am I going with this: In their theory of linguistic relativism, lingual anthropoligists, Edward Sapir and Benjamin Whorf hypothesize that the language we speak both affects and reflects our view of the world. According to Ed and Ben, if there isn’t a word for it, the unnamed entity or sentiment defies expression. It would also follow that we are also lacking in awareness of the infinite shades of meaning between established words. A scary thought, yes? Well, sit down.

Forget about a critical shortage of words – I’m here to tell you that we aren’t even getting maximum mileage out of the few pitiful words we do have!

Given the dramatic increase in the use of the written word, particularly via email and text message, significant shades of meaning are being lost wholesale due to a phenomenon which I will call, Big Limitations In Punctuation (BLIP) . Minus the cues conveyed through body language and vocal inflection, written expression is further hampered by huge gaps in punctuation. Never mind that there is only one word for the “standardized nonalphabetical symbols used to organize writing into clauses, phrases, and sentences…” there are several punctuation options that are simply missing from the program.

We need, for instance, something between the period and the exclamation point. The period is so flat and cold, while the exclamation point is far too “I’m-so-fourteen-years-old” exuberant. Something like a “mid-clamation point” would fill the gap, indicating that one is interested and supportive, but not over-the-top excited. A rhetorical question mark would also be useful, as would a variation which could denote sarcasm (a personal favorite). I think I’d also get a lot of use out of something special which could mark a mildly pejorative comment like, “YOU BONEHEAD!” or soften more emphatic verbiage that could be interpreted as mean like, “YOU #@!?$%? BITCH!” Now, see…right there, in both instances the exclamation point is all wrong! (And, it was wrong following the word “wrong” just then…) There is such a need for this.

The Take-Away: Our capacity to express new kinds of thoughts and to communicate with each other via the English language may be greatly hampered by the limited number of punctuation options currently available. Clearly, we need new punctuation that can make written communications more precise and meaningful (and less unintentionally inadequate or snarky). 

The Challenge: Our challenge here is to come up with some new punctuation; preferrably markings which can be created using the existing cast of characters on the standard word processing keyboard.

Game on??