Pre-Ramble: So, you get an invitation to an event and at the bottom below the RSVP in a tiny font is a line that says “Black tie optional” … What the heck does that mean?  Like “business casual,” these three words can strike fear into even the most hip of dressers. (The fact that I just used the word “hip” automatically disqualifies me from being that.)

If you’re an undertaker, James Bond, or hosting the Academy Awards, the black tie directive is pretty clear. Same goes for most wedding parties. In all other situations, the optional black tie designation is dicey. In this form of fashion Russian Roulette, chances are good that half the crowd will be over-dressed and half the crowd will be under-dressed.  Those folks who claim that it is better to be over-dressed than under-dressed never went to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. Every year we would show up in some form of holiday casual wear which, when you’re ten and it’s 1967, means a corduroy jumper, turtleneck, cable-knit tights and shoes with buckles. We would walk through that front door and every kid in the house had changed out of their “church clothes” hours ago and was rolling around on the floor in sweat pants and a t-shirt. 

According to wikipedia, a source widely known as an authority on fashion, an appropriate black tie ensemble can vary. In brief, the traditional components are:

• a short coat with silk facings (usually grosgrain or satin), also called the dinner jacket
• trousers with silk braids matching the lapels
• a black cummerbund or low-cut waistcoat
• a white dress shirt with either a stiff or pleated front
• black dress socks
• black shoes in patent or highly polished leather

Far beyond the confines of the requisite monkey suit, contemporary black tie outfits can incorporate many interesting variations including color-coordinated cummerbunds and ties, different colors and/or collars on shirts, or even different types of cut and materials. Elton John once performed in a tuxedo made entirely of feathers. 

If only it were that easy: Unfortunately, “black tie optional” is a thousand times more ominous for women. I’ll be the first one to jump at a chance to dress up for Halloween, but selecting appropriate formal wear is another matter entirely. The pitfall to dressing for special occasions is that there are so many ways that you can look wrong. Ellen DeGeneres is the only woman who can really pull off the “tuxedo look,” and the crisp-white-shirt-unbuttoned-down-to-there-with-black-pants-and-spike-heels option looks very sexy unless you’re sporting a pasty winter skin-tone and have little hope of rallying “the girls” into anything resembling cleavage. In a dress that’s too poufy, you look like you’re headed to the prom; too tight, you’re a hooker; in a more mature get-up, you’re mother-of-the-bride. Women have to consider length and neckline of dress, accessories, hair style, shoes, clutch and wrap; not to mention outdoor temperature, general terrain, duration of event, and whatever your escort will be wearing.

In her new book, The Little Black Book of Style, Nina Garcia, fashion editor at Elle Magazine and judge on the hit show Project Runway,  suggests that,

“Every time you dress, you assert some aspect of yourself and your identity. With style, you tell the world who you are, or at least the story of who you would like to be on that particular day.”

Great.  On this particular day in Minnesota it is nine degrees below zero - my polar fleece track suit and Uggs are telling the world that I don’t want to freeze my ass off in spaghetti straps or break an ankle careening around in some parking lot. Does Jimmy Choo have something in a strappy little snowshoe? I’m sure an ice ax won’t fit into my evening bag.

The Take-Away: Perhaps you can consider the “black tie optional” as another opportunity to step out of your comfort zone. Or, what the heck… wear whatever makes you feel fun, it’s usually dark anyway. Cheers to a happy, healthy and stylish New Year!

Post-note: Those of you living in the Arctic Circle who didn’t lose it all in the stock market might be interested in picking up one of these whimsical, uniquely-shaped evening bags fashioned from hand-glued Austrian crystals by designer, Judith Lieber.  The bag features a push down snap closure and detachable chain strap (looks like a rat-tail in photo at right). Comes beautifully boxed with a keepsake bag - $3,995.

Pre-Ramble: Hi, it’s me Daisy… resident canine and guest blogger extraordinaire. So, tick, tock … ’tis the day before Christmas and Mom is in the other room frantically trying to wrap presents. I want to be supportive, but really, when that is going on, you just have to gather up the chew toys and head out of Dodge.

From where I sit, it’s essentially a logistics issue. Usually short on time, Mom will try to cut corners, which just increases the likelihood that she will cut the paper too small. Then she’ll run out of tape or lose the scissors. And then there are the packing materials. Mom saves “good boxes” all year long for just this occasion. She’s an animal… rifling through the closet  trying to unearth just the right sized box for this or that, but invariably, there is nothing appropriate to whatever it is she’s trying to wrap. She probably wouldn’t want me to mention this, but in addition to good boxes, she also saves “good bags” and “good ribbon.”  These prized specimens reside in the wrapping closet along with rolls of decorative paper and random party decorations. 

If you read the blog posting about “lists” (12/3), you probably have an inkling of the depth of dysfunction going on over here, in this case regarding packaging materials. It’s sad really. And a fire hazard. All those bags and empty boxes filled with tissue - or worse - packing peanuts. I could write an entire treatise on the dynamics of packing peanuts (which are basically inedible, so what’s the point?). Suffice it to say that, since they are also not biodegradable, we corral them into a giant garbage bag until it is full enough to take over to be recycled at the local packaging store. The length of time it takes to rid the premises of the temporarily indispensible, but ultimately unwanted packing peanuts can be staggering. Dragging the unwieldy bag of styrofoam out to the car and then over to be recycled is a multiple-step process and colossal hassle.  Just because we have successfully captured the freakishly wily packing peanuts in a secure container doesn’t mean that they will make it from the house out to the car. Accordingly, just because the bags have been hauled out to the car, doesn’t mean that we’re in the mood to drive them over to the recycling shop. We can have bags of packing peanuts in the back of the Yukon for months, even passing by the recycling shop several times before actually pulling over and shepherding them through the door.

The Take-Away: There’s no take-away here, although, I’m sure Dad would be grateful if you would take away some of these boxes and bags. In her defense, even though Mom has an affinity for boxes, bags and other peripheral packing materials, it’s not like we have 40 cats living in the house  (believe me, you would have heard from me on that). These items are organized, stored in a respectable manner, and generally retrievable upon command. The fact is, a beautifully wrapped present can make a huge difference in the overall impact of the gift exchange experience. According to perennial wrap diva, Martha Stewart, “beautiful gift wrapping sends a message of thoughtfulness that is as important as the gift itself.”  I suggest using bacon-flavored rawhide chips as gift tags .

Pre-Ramble: One of my favorite holiday traditions is watching Charles M. Schulz’ timeless animated special, A Charlie Brown Christmas. I think I’ve watched it every year since it first aired in 1965. There is something about the simple, playful quality of the illustrations, soft jazz sound track and multi-layered message that communicates the meaning of the holidays in a special way. (And who hasn’t felt like a Peanuts character bobbing around on the dance floor at some point in their lives?) Without being garrish or sappy, Linus’ reading of the story of the Nativity, conveys the meaning of Christmas as only the clear, singular voice of a child can. Near the end of the program, Linus wraps his cherished blanket around the base of Charlie Brown’s forlorn little tree, ”giving it a little love.” Before long the tree, surrounded by singing children (and a howling dog), is beaming with Christmas joy.

My friend is currently studying to be a life coach and has shared some of the observations she has had at various points in her training. One day she reflected on her grandmother, describing the way she could make each of her grandchildren feel special just by recognizing and pointing out their unique attributes and strengths. My friend likened her grandmother’s affirmation and warmth to “the blanket around the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.”

The Take-Away: Like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, sometimes the people in our lives just need a little love wrapped around them to transform their outlook from hopeless and forgotten to appreciated and beautiful. Take time to share the warm blanket of your attention and compassion with friends, family, and even a few strangers this Christmas season.

Pre-Ramble: I am going to depart from the insightful and intellectual fare usually found in my blog, to venture into a slightly less rigorous, but no less valuable realm. Today, I would like to share my special chicken pot pie recipe. (I can already hear the wild laughter of family and friends.) While not known for my domestic prowess, I have been known to make an occassional dish that merits a repeat attempt. Actually, at first I was concerned that addressing more home-spun matters like cooking or gardening would diminish the quasi-professional tone I would like to set for my blog. Frankly, once you’ve featured your dog as a guest blogger, there really is no further standard to be violated. What’s more, as Daisy will tell you, a good chicken pot pie is nothing to sniff at.

There are few things in life more welcoming on a cold winter day, than a piping hot, homemade chicken pot pie. Far from the frozen, Banquet, pie-in-a-box variety (first ingredient listed there is glue), this tasty, authentic, and visually appealing dish can be made in twenty minutes from things found in a regular grocery store. You will need the following:

• one fully pre-cooked rotisserie chicken (no scoffing – these are tender, flavorful, and beyond convenient)
• a combination of your favorite fresh veggies - could include broccoli florets, carrots, green beans or snap peas, corn (one small can); dice up a potato and throw it in, if so inclined…
• chicken broth (one 14 oz. can, pop-top preferred)
• butter (@1/2 stick)
• flour (3 heaping tablespoons)
• puff pastry shells (Pepperidge Farm, in the freezer section. Sure, you could make these from scratch, but why would anybody do that?)

Before dishing out prep directions for the pot pie, I need to tell you about a cooking-related incident which occurred in one of the first/only cooking classes I have ever been a party to. We were living in a small town outside Cleveland and my unsuspecting neighbor encouraged me to join her for the “Festive Holiday Favorites” class offered by a local upscale cookware shop. The finale was a complicated, high-brow dessert called croquembouche (best pronounced with a French accent, ”crow come boosh”), a combination of the French words “croque en bouche,” meaning, “crunch in mouth.”  (After the Festive Holiday demonstration, I think the translation for this should be, “pain in ass.”)

The traditional croquembouche (shown above left) is made by lining the inside of a special aluminum funnel with small, cream-filled puffs lacquered together with a powerful carmel coating and surrounded with what looks like mosquito netting, but is actually finely spun sugar flung from a loaded pastry brush. (For a video demonstration of the incredibly tedious croquembouche preparation process, I will set up a link in the very near future.)

Long story short – As the class gathered around to watch the unveiling of the completed masterpiece, the instructor and I ended up in a tug-of-war, failing after several attempts to dislodge the mass of  petrified puffs fused to the inside of the funnel. Fingernails were involved. The golden tower of puffs was reduced to rubble in a matter of minutes. Unruffled, the instructor garnished the tasting platter with a few sprigs of mint and passed the sorry heap of sticky shards around the room. Yum.

Back to the pie: In contrast to the putsy croquembouche, making this chicken pot pie is a piece of cake. Here’s a breakdown of quick and easy steps:

• blanch or steam your cast of veggies; set aside;
• place puff pastry on cookie sheet and slide into preheated oven for 10-15 minutes;
• in small sauce pan, melt butter and stir in flour until you get a mixture the consistency of grits;
• stirring constantly, pour chicken broth into “grits” a little bit at a time, until blended. Stop adding broth when mixture reaches the consistency of gravy; season with fresh ground pepper and a pinch of coarse kosher salt;
• remove white meat from chicken; rip into bite-size pieces and toss into gravy;
• stage cooked pastry shells in individual bowls and artfully arrange a nice selection of veggies in and around shell;
• spoon some chicken/sauce mixture over the veggie-filled shell;
• As a final touch, garnish with something green and leafy;
• Poof! – ready to serve!

The Take-Away: Homemade “comfort food” is just the ticket in times of transition and change. As we weather these winter months, and even chillier economic times, it’s the perfect opportunity to fire up the hearth and prepare a feast for our hungry, stressed-out loved ones. (Ok, maybe feast is over-selling it, but at least this effort doesn’t require obscure ingredients, scads of discretionary time, or some fancy-schmansy funnel.) Pair the dish with a side of field greens and a nice Shiraz and you’ve got a fine little meal!

Pre-Ramble: Santa Claus came to town last week, marking the official beginning of the Christmas holiday.  I understand that he will be making a list and checking it twice, which totally makes sense since ’tis the season where you need to keep track of a lot of stuff.  As an organizationally challenged person, I can have trouble keeping pertinent details at the forefront of my mind. Thus, the importance of The List.

What I have discovered however, is that The List is not a foolproof measure. Whether I’ve checked it once or twice, or even more times than that, I still seem to have issues. Just the other day, I was feeling all jazzed up and efficient and began to draft a quick grocery list. I thoroughly queried each family member to see if there was anything they needed from the store and noted each item carefully on The List.

Well, groping around in my purse on the way into the store, it became clear that I had, in fact, left The List behind on the kitchen counter. Dag-nabbit! I was pretty sure I had checked it twice, and yet here I was – listless. 

Sadly, this isn’t the first time this has happened, and it wouldn’t have been so disturbing if I hadn’t just had a conversation with my husband, not seconds before, about the way people sometimes forget lists. This combination of factors led me to consider the following list of habitual, potentially  passive-aggressive “list behaviors:”

No List – In an effort to save time, I have been known to forge ahead with no list of any kind. This wreckless practice always has a dismal success rate, as I will, more often than not, forget crucial items - usually the highest priority item - and have to go back to the store immediately… (walk of shame…)

Forget List – Other times, I will make a list and then outright forget to bring it to the store (see above), resulting in a low item fulfillment rate, and almost always necessitating a return trip to purchase the missing items.

List AWOL - I have the list when I leave the house, but for the love of Pete, when I get to the store, it’s nowhere. The list has either fallen onto the garage floor, or is camouflaging somewhere at the bottom of my purse. Again, high likelihood that I will be returning to the store to retrieve forgotten items.

Ignore List – There are times when, in some inexplicable display of hubris, I will bring the list, but REFUSE TO LOOK AT IT, preferring instead to try and “guess” what is listed. The result in this case is pretty much the same as what happens in “no list” and “forget list” above.

Consult List and Still Forget Stuff – This is probably the most humiliating scenario. The prepared list is RIGHT THERE IN MY HAND and, for whatever reason, I simply fail to see one or more of the items. This, of course, means that if I actually need those items, I must redouble my efforts to procure them, even if that means driving to a different store to save face or sending one of the kids later.

Spontaneously Edit List – Sometimes, I will be shopping with a list of things that I need, and then randomly decide that: a) I no longer need/want one or more of the items listed; b) I don’t know where to find an item(s) and am suddenly too tired/hungry/crabby to make an effort to track it down; or c) I know exactly where an item is located, but am too lazy/tired/hungry/crabby to go to that aisle in the store. In each of these situations, a rationalization loop will immediately kick in to craft a work-around solution for whatever items are suddenly and intentionally dropped off the face of the list.

The Take-Away: Just wanted to share. I’d love to hear any ”list behaviors” that you’d like to add to the list. And, Santa, if you’re online right now, we’d appreciate a quick tutorial on how to manage this daunting task.