Pre-Ramble:  From the title, you might think this is another iteration of the last blog, scolding the folks on Capitol Hill for rushing to judgement on President Obama’s pace of play. While I could easily muster up another several paragraphs on that, you would soon come to realize that it would just be another stall tactic. 

I want to write a book. I’ve been churning ideas around for a couple of years now. I know what I want to say, and sift through the thoughts in my head all day long. Usually, I am rescued from having to actually write the book by the onset of paying work or some other cleverly-disguised imperative - one of my clients will toss a new project over the transom, a volunteer commitment will require my attention, we’ve run out of food, or my dog will need a walk. My sock drawer has never been so organized.

I have literally piles of research and notes, a line-up of three-ring binders filled with reference documents, snippets of paper covered with random thoughts, folders bulging with inspirational photos and drawings, and a shelf lined with books that capture my fancy for one reason or another. These books represent the work of some first-rate thinkers – Twyla Tharp, Guy Kawasaki, Lewis Carroll, Howard Gardner, Tom Kelly, Tim Berners-Lee, Gordon McKenzie, Barack Obama, Esther Dyson, Daniel Pink, Nina Garcia (she totally gets fashion…), Nicholas Negroponte, Julia Cameron, Allisn Fine, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Malcolm Gladwell, Anne Lamott, Thomas Friedman, Wayne Dyer, etc. - and, they inspire me to think about the world in new and different ways.

These books also taunt me daily. They thumb their spines at me – “Nah-nah, weeeee’ve written and published meaningful and highly successful books and yooooou haven’t!!”

That’s so immature.

The Take-Away:  The obvious solution here is, drop those socks and start writing. Maybe all I need is a little encouragement from the Universe,…“Come on Kath, get busy!… You go girl!… You can do it!!” … Or, maybe what I need is a reality check from the Universal Inner Saboteur, “Don’t do it!… You stop girl!… Pleeease don’t write a book… what are you thinking?… your writing totally sucks!…” 

Ha! That Inner Saboteur is a wily one. Fortunately for me, I earned a black-belt in the art of denial long ago and I have friends who are willing to lie to me, if they think that will make me happy. I guess, until the septic system backs up or I get a hang-nail or something, I’ve no alternative but to forge ahead with the book and see where it goes.

Thanks for listening.

Post Note:  The image above right is from the portfolio of illustrator John S. Dykes. I’m hoping that he will be available to do some illustrations for the book – I love his work and he clearly gets what I’m up against.

Pre-Ramble: The Inauguration of Barack Obama will be remembered as a profoundly significant event. The crowd, the security, the cold, the ceremony, the oath, the speech, the message, the flags, the cheers, the tears, the poem, the daughters, the dignitaries, the stars, the song, the invocation, the parade, the ball, the dress, the dance - a crescendo of pageantry ushering our rock-star, superhero, champion-of-all-things-good-and-noble across America and into the White House. A dizzying spectacle of patriotic pride and unity unparalleled in the history of our country.

No pressure there. In a gasp to manage expectations, the newly elected president tempers his much-anticipated Inaugural Address with the recognition that exceedingly hard work awaits us in the days and weeks ahead, stressing that “the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many… “  He acknowledges as well that these challenges “will not be met easily or in a short span of time.” Once in the White House, the anointed leader finds his way to the Oval Office, unpacks his pencils, and looks to an exhaustive list of to-dos. He signs a series of executive orders designed to make a clean and intentional break from “business as usual” and establish a “shovel-ready” tone around his transition effort. Sure – smart, strategic, prudent.

But no! Even before the last Inaugural port-o-potty has rolled off the National Mall, journalists are already ambushing the President in the press room, and giddy critics scrutinize the fall-out from Week One. Week One!? Apparently, some of the new president’s most ardent supporters already feel “let down”… It has been only two-and-a-half months since Mr. Obama was elected, but his Yes We Can coalition is already “fraying at the edges...,”… “Mr. Obama’s willingness to adapt carries the risk that he will either alienate his liberal base or fail to convert Republicans whose support he hopes to win…,” … Critics warn that the White House must “follow up their words with real behavior“…

OH, FOR PETE’S SAKE!  We just elected this guy! Less than a week ago he was the symbol of national unity, charged with Camelot magic, and gazing into the eyes of his best girl on the dance floor. What happened to the honeymoon? The First Hundred Days? Where is the “transition” part? In so short a time, how can President Obama be anywhere within lobbying distance of “frayed,” “alienating,” or “failure to act”? Hold on to that last port-o-potty, I’ll show those early detractors “shovel ready.”

The Take-Away: GET REAL - AND GET THE HECK OFF MY CLOUD! I’m not ready to give up the energy and spirit of the hope-driven, love-fest that was/is the Obama promise. I still want the counterveiling force of competency and change that Obama represents in the face of political corruption, dismal economic indicators, and daily bomb blasts in the Middle East. I still want to feel good about where the nation is heading; where the world is heading. I still want to think that we can do better that what we’ve been doing for the past eight years. I want to give this fresh new administration a chance. It is beyond premature to be calling this game.

Post Note: The song “Get Off My Cloud“ was written by Keith Richards and Mick Jagger of the British rock band, The Rolling Stones, in expression of their aversion to people’s unrealistic expectations of them following the hugely popular hit song “Satisfaction.”

Pre-Ramble:  So, the three lookers at right are me and a couple of my high school buddies spazzing out at our annual Holiday Cookie Baking Day last December. Why are we laughing?  Look at us - we’re wearing snugs!  The minute we put them on, we were laughing uncontrollably… it was Lucy and Ethel all the way. Let’s face it, THERE IS NO WAY TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE WHEN YOU’RE WEARING SOMETHING GOOFY ON YOUR HEAD.

This is what makes Aretha Franklin’s Inaugural performance such an impressive feat. Not once, in the entire time that she was standing up there… in front of several million people… for what will be remembered as one of the most historical events ever… wearing what will be remembered as one of the most iconic pieces of headgear ever…, did she reveal even the slightest hint of a snicker. That’s restraint. That’s a professional.

Aretha totally rocks that hat  – she’s a diva and she’s got style. Created by 36-year-old Detroit milliner, Luke Song, the grey wool hat features a large, crystal-studded bow positioned asymmetrically on the front brim (think a jaunty Hello Kitty).  Like the “Queen of Soul,” performers have long been known to pull off all kinds of show-stopping attire… pop-stars Rihanna, Britney and Madonna (not them above right) can get away with wearing basically nothing but their underpants on stage.

The snug, incidently, was created by my friend Pam, whose small Minneapolis company, BellaPamella, harkens back to a simpler time offering beautiful, hand-crafted aprons and accessories. Pam describes the snug this way:

You can just give bad hair days a big wet kiss goodbye when you’re wearing a BellaPamella Hair Snug. Keeps your hair out of your eyes in style. Even makes window washing fun. Tie it in a single or double knot, depending on your style. One size fits all. Kids too! 100% cotton.

The Take Away: I’m pretty sure that window washing could never be fun, but you can see that even for the baking-challenged (me) the hair snug is the way to go. Caution: Snug-plug ahead… If Rihanna, Britney, Madonna, Aretha, or any of you girlfriends out there would like to purchase a snug to wear in upcoming performances, you can preview the full line of BellaPamella wares at www.bellapamella.com.

PS: Great for dogs too!

Pre-Ramble: With the inauguration of Barack Obama just a day away, I wanted to post something relevant and meaningful; something that would invoke the significance of this historic event. I’d like to be able to articulate some eloquent angle on Abraham Lincoln, or wax poetic on Yale professor, Elizabeth Alexander, who has been commissioned to compose and read a poem for the inauguration … but all I can think of is President-elect Obama going in all net on a one-handed leaner. And I am certainly not the only one thinking about this; sports writers and gym rats everywhere have been celebrating the significance of a commander-in-chief who has ”got game.” (Caution: short, white girl chucking up quasi-hip/hackneyed basketball references ahead. If I start using terms like rock, pill, brick, paint, skates, cookies, or “That’s yo aaaassss Mr. Postmaaaaannn,” just shut me down.)

The special bond shared by the weekend basketball warrior hits particularly close to home; my husband plays pick-up games at the local “Y” whenever he can. Known as “old school” by the young punks at the gym, he takes great pride in hauling himself up and down the floor with kids half his age. As he bounds out the door in his sweats, I implore him to play nice with the other kids and not to rip out his already threadbare ACL. 

As Washington dusted off its pre-inaugural high tops last week, the NY Times Style section ran the headline, “Rule No. 1: Do Not Call Him ‘Ball-Hog-in-Chief,” and our own St. Paul Pioneer Press declared incoming President Obama, “Hoopster-in-Chief,“ tagging him, “Barack Slamma Jamma Obama.”  Ok, whatever.  Actually, any individual who can demonstrate a passion for Abraham Lincoln, appoint an inaugural poet, and bust a few moves in a game of pick-up basketball has got my respect and allegiance.  As I think about it, the basketball analogy may be ideally suited to the profound and demanding challenges which will face our nation and its leader in the months ahead. Let’s face it, it is highly doubtful that W will be able to crank up a three-pointer at the buzzer to pull us out of this mess.

But here’s the thing: Barack Obama has shown that he is a principled, articulate and strategic individual, but even on his best day there is no way that he is going to be able to carry all 300 million of us on his back for the next four to eight years. We’re headed into the biggest pick-up game of our lives – picking up the pieces of the last eight years – and whether you voted for him or not, each one of us has got to bring our “A” game to the very serious issues that face our country. Former secretary of state, Colin Powell describes our call to action this way:

While government has a role to play in restoring the American dream at home and rekindling the dream that is America abroad, there are limits to its ability to restore our sense of purpose as a nation. That task falls to us. Particularly in hard times like these, we are charged with living up to our shared responsibility to one another [and to our country]. This is not a time to retreat into our homes and wait until it is safe to emerge. It is the time to give more, to step forward and serve our fellow citizens, and to reach into the reservoir of this nation’s unrivaled capacity for good… At a time when so many of our countrymen are in need, everyone has the power to help.

Coaching Tip: Without trivializing this very significant moment, what we need here is the ultimate “alley-oop.”  The alley-oop is an offensive play in which a player throws the ball near the hoop to a teammate who jumps, catches the ball in mid-air, and scores a basket, usually with a slam dunk (think North Carolina State in the 1983 national championship).  The alley-oop combines elements of teamwork, passing, timing, and dunking – perfect for meeting the challenges we will face in the weeks, months, and years ahead. And I’m sure we can all think of some folks on the national political scene who could use a good dunking.

The Take-Away: President-elect Obama has appointed many high-quality players to his cabinet, but ultimately, we are the national dream team that he will need to drive meaningful change. Unlike a scrappy pick-up game, there’s no room for cheap shots and trash-talk - we need to suit up and step up. It’s game time.

Brrrrr… Kristen and Daisy in their squall jackets. After a week of temperatures in the double-digits below zero, it’s finally fit for human and beast to be outside. Nothing like a Minnesota winter!

Pre-Ramble: In a quick follow-on to my earlier iPhone post which dealt with the technology side of things, I feel it only fitting that I take a minute to provide some info on another form of ”software” - iPhone fashion. 

As with the plethora of add-on applications for the innards of the iPhone 3G, there are also apparently a number of unique ways to distinguish the exterior of the phone. I was blissfully unaware of this until it came time to work up a list of stocking-stuffers for my girls. When they suggested a new cover for their phone, I gave them the clueless, all-to-familiar, huh? Who knew? All this time I’ve been using a boring, naked phone. 

Customization is clearly the name of the game here; there are iPhone accessories designed to stick to it, dangle from it, or wrap around it.  Options for the look and feel of the phone run the gambit from basic to fanciful to absurd, both in terms of functionality, aesthetics and price. You’ve got your basic off-the-rack plastic case, sold in a variety of colors at the Apple Store or online for between $30 and $50. Then you have rows of stuff in the funky cart in the middle of the mall… Trust me, most of these are so poorly designed that they don’t even fit on a phone, let alone hold up to the kind of punishment that the average phone is subjected to (bottom of lockers, purses, floppy low-ride pockets, floors of cars…). Which brings us to the more intrepid, quasi-protective covers designed to resist all manner of trauma; these macho styles are made out of flexible neon rubber, carbon fiber, and tire-tread and come with enough straps and clips to ensure that your phone is going to stay well within shouting distance. 

As the mother of teenage girls, I am particularly keyed in on the variety of “runway” phone fashions - designer editions, the majority of which are very sparkly and very spendy. Hot brands including Hello Kitty, Juicy Couture, Louis Vuitton, and even Prada feature hand-stitched Italian leather, animal prints, and rhinestones, and can run anywhere from $50 to $20,000. (No. The answer is no. Because I said so.)

My favorites though, are the quirky, retro-esque cases created by the Narwhal Company. The quaint, impractical sleeping-bag style comes in a bunch of different fabrics, each reminiscent of an old necktie or something you’ve seen on HBO’s Mad Men. The juxtaposition of the no-tech Narwhal and the ultra-sleek iPhone is amusing, as is their, what I hope is tongue-in-cheek, marketing pitch:

You own the Holy Grail of modern consumer electronics – don’t let a mass-produced casing diminish its style. Our iPhone covers compliment the iPhone’s style with a unique pattern on the outside, and protect it from scratches and falls with a soft alpine fleece lining on the inside. The fit is snug enough to keep your iPhone safely inside the cover without being too tight to quickly remove it for an incoming call. Our iPhone covers are as unique as your phone conversations.

Sorry to be a buzz-kill, Narwhal:  The folks who buy the iPhone are heavy users. Fleece lining or no, the phone-cozy concept is not going to cut it with this crowd. For them, it’s all about access and response time. Even if they’re planning to ignore the message, no self-respecting teenager is going to use up valuable nanoseconds dumping their phone out of a sack to check an incoming text. Plus, like mice, where there’s one text message, there are thirty more.  A simple “conversation” conducted via text-message, even those involving a shockingly minimal number of characters, can string out over several hours, even days. The bottom line is, if the screen is blocked, the phone may as well be in a vault at the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper. 

The Take-Away: What more need be said? Who really needs a fancy phone cover when you never actually put the phone down? Wake me up when you’ve perfected the iPhone cover that my girls really want - the prosthetic device that literally becomes an extension of their arm.

Pre-Ramble:  I pretty much thought I was Queen-of-all-things-technology until yesterday…

Despite what my web guy thinks, I can be technologically capable, if not downright astute. I know this because:

• I have had a cell phone for several years and am able to make and receive calls;
• I use my computer on a daily basis with only the occasional mishap (Agent James behind the Geek Squad desk at Best Buy told me that it wasn’t my fault that my hard drive crashed twice in two years);  
• I am regularly able to get most of the photos out of my digital camera;
• I am hearing that pissy “recalculating” command far less frequently from my GPS genie;
• I don’t have an ipod or an e-book yet, but I can pick them out of a line-up;
• I am aware that the proper terminology for prerecorded music is no longer “record, LP, 8-track, or cassette, and have stopped referring to at-home movies as “videos;”
• I have my own Facebook page (admitedly sparse, but it’s there);
• I have a Linked-In page (also woefully under-managed);
• I am able to summon neat videos on YouTube (love “Where the hell is Matt?”);
• I’ve bought stuff on ebay;
• it’s a rare day when I haven’t googled something; 
• I can hang-ten on the Internet without getting wet;
• I have my own website and what I am calling a blog.  

These are all tech-worthy things that I was feeling good about until I sat down to dinner with my kids.

We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto … So, we were enjoying a respectable version of homemade pizza, when that unmistakable humming sound emanated from the other side of the room. We have a rule about taking calls or text messages during “forced family time” and, while I know it’s killing them, my kids are pretty good about it. Instead of actually taking the call, we engage in the equally intrusive behavior of looking over at the jittering device to ponder the source and reason for the call. It was at this point that our conversation turned to ”apps” and the entire room began to spin. 

OMG: Do you have any idea how much technical capability is crammed into these new small hand-held units?! My teenagers basically have 24/7 access to the contents of the entire World Wide Web including songs, photos, movies, encyclopedias, games, directories, social networks, up-to-the-minute-news-feeds, weather, navigation technology, and all manner of other random crap in the palm of their hand – literally. I hope you’re sitting down, in fact, you might want to remove your bifocals and breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes because this is mind-blowing stuff.

For the cost of one dollar or less, the casual iPhone user can download/upload (?) (magically transport something through thin air into your phone) what are called “applications” (add-on stuff that you didn’t know you needed when you bought your phone). According to tech blogmaster, Josh Catone, over 10,000 applications are currently available for the Apple iPhone.  A survey of users found that 93 percent have added at least one application, and that 45 percent have added more than eleven. Apparently, some app developers are pulling in over $5,000 per week and analysts predict that the aptly named Apple App Store will be a billion dollar business by next year. Before I scrap this blogging nonsense and start writing iPhone apps, let me share a few of my favorites:

• running stats – take your phone on a workout to monitor running route, mileage, terrain, time, and calories burned
• movie info - based on your location (GPS), it can show you nearby theaters, listings, times, directions, and THE MOVIE TRAILERS!
• “bubble wrap” - screen fills with what looks like bubble wrap packing material; gamer tries to “pop”/touch as many bubble-spaces as they can in 30 seconds (includes annoying popping sounds). I have witnessed three teenage girls do this for over 45 minutes straight.
• “flipping coin” – if you’re in charge of the coin toss at the Super Bowl, you’ll want this app – a video of an actual size U.S. quarter spinning over and over until it randomly stops on heads or tails.
• “easy relax” – perfect for our stressed out teens (see bubble-wrap game above), relaxing sounds invite listener to fall asleep to a warm campfire, Hawaiian ocean sounds, birds twittering in the jungle, or a gentle rain (actually sounds more like someone urinating in a port-a-potty)
• “whoopie cushion” – yup, just what it sounds like… can be activated without actually sitting on the phone.
• “Zippo lighter” – remember in the olden days when we used to wave lighter-flames over our heads at concerts to insight an encore? … then it became the light from open cell-phones? … Now, tech-savvy concertgoers can wave an iPhone screen of a flickering Zippo lighter video…
• “mosquito tone” (Caution: this is where you are going to feel OLD) - Ideally suited to multi-generational, summer, outdoor gatherings in Minnesota, this app puts out a pulsing, high-pitched tone that repels mosquitos and teenagers - AND CANNOT BE HEARD BY PEOPLE OVER AGE 25. I swear to you on a stack of Depends, when this sound occurs, my daughters will cover their ears and dive for the nearest fox hole and I can’t hear a thing – nada, nothing, zip. Seriously. Invented by Howard Stapleton in 2005, the controversial “Mosquito” is an ultrasonic sound typically inaudible to people over 25 years of age (the ability to hear high frequencies deteriorates over the human lifespan). When tested, the ultra-high-frequency tone successfully disbursed a crowd of unruly teenagers loitering near a grocery store in South Wales.
• “poison pill” (my personal favorite) – if the unthinkable happens and your iPhone becomes lost, (for some, the technological equivalent of losing a limb) you can send it an email from a remote location which will essentially wipe out all of the information contained in it’s memory banks while you drive away in the Auston Martin DB III.

The Take-Away: Clearly, an era of unprecedented change is upon us and we “late adopters” need to stick together and keep our ears to the ground. Please feel free to share your favorite app(s), tech-enlightenment moments, etc.  And, if anybody can explain the difference between “upload” and “download” I would be very appreciative.

Pre-Ramble: Minnesota Musical Chairs is a game played by a group of people (usually children or senators) often in an informal setting, like Congress. The game starts with two candidates and one U.S. Senate seat. Local election officials recount ballots and attorneys for each player issue statements to the press while the candidates circle the contested seat.  When election officials stop counting, the players scramble for the nearest bank of microphones. The first one to declare himself the winner is free to assume that he will be seated as the junior senator from Minnesota, while the one left out begins legal proceedings. Everyone gets cupcakes while a special three-judge panel examines “inconsistencies” and “irregularities” and then the game begins again.

Minnesota Musical Chairs goes on until one candidate can no longer afford the gigantic legal bills, both candidates are declared complete idiots by their constituents, or mom steps in and sends everybody home.

Note: A similar game is played in Illinois called Monkey-in-the-Middle. Also played out in the media, it involves a corrupt, foul-mouthed Governor, a bunch of riled-up senators, and a blind-sided former Illinois Attorney General. 

The Take-Away: Party on!

Pre-Ramble: It’s the New Year, time for fresh starts,  self-examination and the ubiquitous “New Year’s resolution.” I  just have to weigh in on this…

According to wikipedia, my favorite factoid resource, a “resolution” is a commitment or pledge that an individual makes to an undertaking, often to curb some kind of unwanted behavior. A resolution remains in play until it is accomplished or abandoned. 

It will come as no surprise that the top New Year’s resolution for 2009 (and every year) is to “lose weight.”  This week’s People Magazine cover story (in a special double-wide issue) is “Half Their Size: How They Lost 437 lbs!”  And, what discussion of weight control would be complete without a nod to Oprah Winfrey whose public battle with weight is legendary. The January issue of “O” Magazine  features our beloved, now 200 pound star, as she chronicles her lamentable journey from fit to fat. I admire Oprah for many reasons, but I question the logic of her role as a model of fitness and weight loss - if a fabulously wealthy, high-profile gal with a personal chef and trainer can’t make a go of it, what hope do we have up here in the fly-over zone with a dog-eared volume of Cooking Light and a membership at the local Y? It should come as no surprise that just 12 percent of  resolutions set at the New Year are actually realized. 

Here’s the skinny:  It’s not about weight. The basic dynamics of nutrition and exercise can be learned in 10 minutes; it’s anxiety, denial, expectations, motivation and warm sourdough bread with butter that are less easily conquered. Issues with weight - gaining it or losing it - can function as a distraction from things that are out of whack somewhere else in your life. For some, mucking around with diet regimens and dreaming about the way things will be “when I lose the weight,” is far easier than facing the more difficult aspects of life, like finding a more satisfying job or getting out of a bad relationship. 

When you’re looking down the barrel of a loaded Coney dog, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that life is lived in the moment - the only place where you actually have an opportunity to face challenges and make things happen. Sure, nobody wants to go through life hauling around extra pounds, but ultimately it’s not about whether you’re fat or skinny, it’s about what you are doing with your life. If you’re excited about the real things going on - exploring new hobbies, going to interesting places, visiting with fun people - you won’t even have time to think about Entenmann’s.

Try this on for size:  Instead of making a New Year’s resolution, now’s the time to amp it up and go for the full-blown New Year’s “revolution.”  From the Latin “revolutio” meaning “a turn around,” a revolution is a fundamental change in power or structure that takes place in a relatively short period of time. What better way to characterize the kind of paradigm shift that can bring real and meaningful change to your life? Think of all the valuable resources that are consumed in the cumbersome process of food management; what else could you have been doing with all that time and energy? And even if you’re thin… Great… So what?  What kind of a life is it, if all you’ve done is ration french fries and run yourself ragged at the gym? 

Seriously. Just because the human body needs to eat a few times per day to keep healthy doesn’t mean that you have to make food and eating a 24 hour exercise. Unless you’re a chef or a cow, (a ruminant animal that consumes over 100 pounds of feed and a bathtub full of water each day), you can make your daily interface with food the necessary, albeit pleasurable, but secondary part of your life that it is intended to be. 

The Take-Away: Revolutionize your thinking!  There’s a reason those Nike athletes are so ripped – back away from that pasta bar and scope out new things to go/be/do! Get off that same old psychological  treadmill and switch your focus from weight to living. By reframing your thinking, you can bring a new focus and energy to the real underlying personal challenges you want to lick and roll out a super-size pack of awesome new goals for ‘09!