Pre-Ramble:  The quality of writing is only a small part of the complex and collaborative effort that is required to prepare and submit a winning grant proposal.  Nonetheless, we grantwriters need to celebrate the “win” when get one! 

It is in that spirit that I do a little dance in the end-zone to observe the recent award received by one of my clients for the very competitive Readiness and Emergency Management for Schools (REMS) federal grant program.

Wooo-hooo!  (That’s me doing the Victory Dance.)

The cause for celebration here is not only that the long hard work of the grants team has been rewarded, but also that the initiative for which the funds have been won – in this case, school safety – will actually have an opportunity to be implemented to the benefit of the “target population” – in this case, thousands of school children who sit in classrooms for several hours every day.

Beyond fire drills and the occasional playground fall, many parents never give school safety much thought. Even excluding extreme incidents such as the mass shootings at Columbine High School (1999) or Virginia Tech (2007), emergency situations like tornados, environmental hazards or gang related violence pose a daily potential threat to students, teachers and school staff.  (And, FYI – the time to think about and prepare for these situations is not when the skies grow dark or a despondent student shows up with a backpack full of explosives.)

Your tax dollars at work - While specifics on my grant team’s proposed plan are proprietary, a peek behind the scenes will reveal a huge and arduous, but sound and competitive process that is designed to compel entities (like school districts) to address issues that need to be addressed (like a comprehensive proactive plan for student safety) in the most effective and efficient way possible. At the end of the day, the most promising projects receive funding … “promising” meaning that it is strongly likely that the project plan articulated in the proposal will be able to achieve its stated goals on time and on budget … (not as easy as it sounds).

The Take-Away: Most of what goes on in the day-to-day realm of grantwriting is not glamorous (ok, really none of it is… ), but the knowledge that we, tapping away in our little corners of the world, are able to play even a small role in a system that rewards innovative thinking and enables promising initiatives that have the potential to improve our society and the lives of individuals – that right there is something to celebrate!

Pre-Ramble:  So, I came across an ad in one of the business publications I read, maybe it was Wired … could have been Fortune … anyway, I came across an advertisement promoting the Disney Institute.  Apparently, Mickey and the gang are leading a professional development consulting practice, preaching the gospel of Disney to organizations and individuals who want to realize success by “thinking differently” about their businesses.

“Are you ready to D’Think your organization? … Think outside the status quo … Built on the real-life practices of the Walt Disney Company, a global leader in everything from customer service to leadership excellence, our customized programs have re-inspired over half of America’s Fortune 100 companies. See their testimonials on our website and ask yourself: Are you ready to D’Think?” 

D’Think? … Does this mean, “de-think“? As in, “de-ice or de-clog“? … ”Stop thinking the way you’ve been thinking“? Or, does it mean, “Think D-isney” … as in “Disney-Think“? 

I think they were going for something creative and catchy and think-outside-the-box-y. (Never mind that the accompanying photo features two guys with cardboard boxes over their heads that actually look like giant Fig Newtons with legs … ) At first blush the concept of a corporate coaching arm inspired by Disney is, well, … inspired. 

Certainly, the Magic Kingdom, created by “artistic genius” Walt Disney, embodies all of the elements that one could wish for in an effective organizational model. The efficient and whimsical work environment can only be characterized as “innovative,” and the Disney reputation for delivering a world-class “Guest experience” is legendary. And when it comes to branding, Disney, with its tightly controlled worldwide scope of motion pictures, theme parks, stage shows, books, magazines, television, merchandise, music (… we can talk about the Mouseketeers later), apparel, radio, resorts, cruise line and more, practically invented the concept. So, as claimed,

“The end results may be magical, but the Disney formula … has much more muscle than pixie dust.”

Hey there, hi there, ho there …  Sounds like the muscle of the Disney Institute “formula” involves some pretty basic business school fare…

… That’s what you’ll learn in Disney’s Approach to Inspiring Creativity — one of the five core topics available at Disney Institute. Discover ways to tap into the same power source that has propelled more than 80 years of continuous business success:

• Analyze the working definition of “organizational creativity” as it applies to the success of any organization
• discover the four key components of the organizational creativity model – organizational identity, collaborative culture, structural systems, and the leader
• Examine the best practices of Disney in each of the four components

Wait a minute, Boys and Girls … What’s all this “analysis” and “key components” and “collaborative culture” talk?  Is this the brand of Disney-Speak that leads to Disney-Think? 

Where’s the pixie dust?  Sure, there’s value in sound, foundational business processes and practices, and deft strategy and execution around these things this is surely a part of what has made Disney the formidable and ubiquitous powerhouse that it has been for decades. But, the Disney “formula” is only part of the equation.  The thing is, what amounts to a highly innovative and organic outcome for the wonderful world of Disney, cannot be that for any other entity. Like a fingerprint, an innovative, thriving brand is unique and authentic and it takes some serious alchemy between relevant and random factors to punch that ticket.    

The Take-Away: It’s the “pixie dust” that offers the most competitive advantage here.  Beyond a business formula dressed up in tutus and tiaras, organizations and individuals who seek the vistas beyond the edge of the box are looking for the magic. They’re looking for ways to access the kind of creative spark that will inspire their thinking and transform their business.  Hopefully, the Disney power point includes a magic wand.

Pre-Ramble: I can hear the throngs of folks cramming scuba gear into the back of their Subarus and heading out to Bass River Beach.  Today Show.com contributor, Michael Inbar posted this account of a BIG BLING 911 when a surprise marriage proposal went awry on Monday:

Matt:  “Stacey! … The ring!”

Stacy: “Wait — what ring?”

Stacy: “… I went to pick it up and heard something fall; I thought it was a rock … “

It was.  In a well-intended attempt to deliver a memorable marriage proposal, 31-year-old restaurateur Matt Cawley tied a $9,000 family heirloom onto a sand dollar and positioned it on some rocks on a nearby jetty for his intended fiancé to happen upon by surprise. In attempting to pick up the loaded sand dollar, flustered fiancé, 30-year-old schoolteacher Stacey Scanlon, accidently bobbled the stunning multi-carat ring (shown right), and watched in horror as it disappeared between the rocks.  

NO!! DON’T DO THIS!!!  This scheme had disaster written all over it from the start. It’s like one of those movie moments where you can see that the hero is headed for certain doom and are compelled to scream out loud at him in the theater.

After it fell, the frenzied search began … “Lifeguards, passersby, and even a retiree with a metal detector pitched in … for four hours we all just worked and worked and worked, moving 200- to 300-pound boulders, …  perfect strangers just helping out.”

Bad news/good news – Unfortunately, despite the thorough search, the ring was not found. Fortunately, Cawley’s mom had insured the bling a few days before the fateful proposal event and a replacement version is now being made.

The Take-Away: Memorable marriage proposal? Mission accomplished.

To read the full story, go to this link on Today Show.com.

Pre-Ramble:  Where is Ozzie Osborn when you need him?  For the past two nights, my daughter and I have ended up shrieking down into the basement because there was a bat in the house. There’s nothing like waking up at 2 a.m. to the unmistakably creepy sound of bat wings wafting around in the airspace above your head.

Suffice it to say, I am not a fan of the bat … I’ve blogged about this before … give me a mouse or spider any day. Thank goodness for the kindness of friends and neighbors and the blissful ignorance of youth.

Bat Whisperer – On Bat-night-#1, we called in fearless, highly capable Canadian neighbor and self-proclaimed “Batman” who was able to search and dispatch in under 3 minutes using a tennis racket and plastic bag. This is a tough, can-do guy — shovels snow in shorts. There you go … No big deal … Done.

911-BAT – So, on Bat-night-#2, Batman (see above) was somehow not answering his phone (… ) …  Frantic daughter and I, bivouacked in the basement again, hovered over our cell phones weighing the pros and cons of waking up folks on our contact list in the middle of the night. Tapping the police seemed extreme. Did we really need 2 squad cars and Gunner the sniffer dog storming the perimeter?  …

We ended up settling on one of my daughter’s good friends, a second year student at Westpoint who was home for a couple weeks. We figured if he could make it through boot camp he could probably go toe-to-toe with a flying rodent. This fine young man didn’t bat and eye when we presented our case (still in delirious REM sleep phase, no doubt) and was on the scene in a matter of minutes. He took a few practice strokes with the racket (nice form) and commenced to the task at hand.

All in all, it took he and my daughter just a few minutes to “round ‘em up and move ‘em out.” (Daisy and I were supervising operations from behind the basement door … ) Lots of giggling and loud clunking sounds, followed by a slamming door and the clatter of cookie sheets and tennis rackets hitting the front porch. Bat-be-gone!  Boo-yah!

Bat-iquette?  So, now the issue becomes, what is the proper protocol for acknowledging this heroic act of kindness? The individuals in question, after all, have gotten up out of a dead sleep, slogged over to the house and flailed around for as long as necessary to get the potentially grizzly job done. Surely, some kind of remuneration is warranted.

After much deliberation, a nice bottle of wine for the Batman seemed fitting … something fruity with notes of mosquito. For Westpoint, a party-sized bag of his favorite kettle-corn (a big hit in the barracks) and a few $$ … com-BAT pay.

The Take-Away: No token gift can convey the depth of my gratitude to these two, princes really - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!  And, please keep your phone by your pillow.

Pre-Ramble: This just in – the hard-working folks on the USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion’s advisory panel have completed another round of musical chairs on the deck of the Titanic – they’ve come up with new recommendations for the revered Food Pyramid (not their version at right).

The USDA began its nutritional education campaign over 100 years ago, providing general info on food composition and dietary standards. In 1992, the iconic Food Pyramid was unveiled, delineating various foods into groups and indicating the relative amounts of them that should be consumed by the American consumer. Apparently, the committee gets together every so often ”to review the latest science and state of the American diet” and make any needed adjustments. According to the USDA website:

“The Dietary Guidelines for Americans are the cornerstone of Federal nutrition policy and nutrition education activities. The Dietary Guidelines are jointly issued and updated every 5 years by the Departments of Agriculture (USDA) and Health and Human Services (HHS). They provide authoritative advice for people two years and older about how good dietary habits can promote health and reduce risk for major chronic diseases. The 2005 Dietary Guidelines remain the current guidance until the 2010 Dietary Guidelines are published.”

A sneak preview of this latest round of tweaks includes reducing daily sodium intake from 2,300 mg to 1,500 mg; reducing the percentage of saturated fat in the diet from 10% to 7%; “drastic” reductions in foods with added sugars; and, “avoidance of artificial trans fats altogether.” The panel’s recommendations also continue to endorse nutritional darlings vitamin D, calcium, potassium, and our good friend dietary fiber.

It isn’t that they aren’t trying … I’m sure the USDA wants to foster the best of the best nutritional practices out there so we can all live healthy, happy lives. In this technologically enhanced era of fan pages and crowd-sourcing, Dr. Robert Post, deputy director of the UDSA Center, assures us that in their high level nutritional discourse, all comments made by public citizens are taken into consideration, along with scientific reviews “and lively debate within the committee’s meetings.” Great effort around public engagement, guys!

Seriously, though …  What new information can that discussion have possibly uncovered that I can’t see jiggling up and down the aisles at my neighborhood Super Target?  Has anyone at the USDA been to Disneyworld? Do they know that people at the Minnesota State Fair are carrying around chocolate-covered bacon on a stick?  Show of hands — who thinks there’s a huge gap between public health policy and real-world practice? … It doesn’t take a super-sized bucket of science to see that the state of the American diet is in dire need of adjustment.

No news here - the Food Pyramid is not pulling its weight in the battle of the bulge. The nice people at the USDA can change the direction of the stripes from horizontal to a more slimming vertical; … put the latest nutritional trends out there on a happenin’ new website (mypyramid.gov); … they can even recommend that the entire pyramid endorse leafy greens … or reduced fat Triscuits, … or PURE LARD! It wouldn’t make a lick of difference. 

The Take-Away:  I think I’m speaking for more than myself when I suggest that despite our best efforts (ok, maybe we’re not even trying), the average American Joe is not up to the task of understanding, calculating and strategizing around every little morsel that we put in our mouths. We don’t know (and/or don’t care) how many milligrams of salt can dance on the tip of a curly fry. We don’t know how much 10% of our daily intake of anything is, so ratcheting that down to 7% should be no problem. 

We just want to eat stuff and not get too fat or dead. Can we fit that solution set somewhere on the Pyramid?