Pre-Ramble:  I am torn. Between the concern and sorrow that I feel for the victims of yesterday’s earthquake in Haiti, and the superficial cattiness that I want to indulge around the new season of American Idol and the current flap in late-night-talk-show-sphere.  The one seems so catastrophically tragic as to be nearly un-discussable, and the other, so trite and meaningless as to be embarrassingly undiscussable in comparison.

It seems somehow wrong to muse idly on about the E! Hollywood quibble-du-jour while tens of thousands of people have been crushed by a natural disaster so significant as to leave only the most random of lucky souls untouched. Satellite views of  Port-au-Prince reveal scene after gut-wrenching scene of collapsed buildings covered in a haunting white rubble.  Many of the injured cower outside hospital buildings refusing to go inside for treatment for fear of being trapped. The Red Cross estimates that 50,000 people or more have been killed. It doesn’t seem fair that people who had nothing to begin with are now left with even less.

And then, a world away, we have the late night smack down, where dueling comedians publically speculate on the fate of their buffeted NBC compatriots. As the situation (no relation to the Jersey Shore) sorts itself out, the prime contenders brandish some of the best material either of them has had in years. Conan O’Brien’s interview with British funny man Ricky Gervais and his bit on the upcoming NBC sponsored Winter Olympics were medal worthy.

The Take-Away:  As much as I want to cut loose and frolic around in the quasi-dramatic absurdity of the late-night circumstances, today is not the day to do it. I will watch Conan tonight and laugh along with his guests at the latest posturing.  But part of me will be standing vigil … waiting silently, … respectfully, … helplessly, … and extending my prayers of hope and healing into the fractured Universe.

Pre-Ramble:  So, who would you rather be — Tiger Woods or the person who attempted to throw a tomato at Sarah Palin during a book signing appearance yesterday at the Mall of America — but hit a policeman instead?

The tomato missed Ms. Palin by about 10 feet, and instead splattered the Bloomington police commander in charge of the security detail. Another officer was also struck by pulp.”

Wow, that’s a super tough choice.  Sure, Tiger is still one of the best athletes in the world and has billions of dollars, but none of that is going to make a decent marinara sauce. 

I promised myself  I wouldn’t write about Tiger Woods’ recent incident, but that was before the Pre-Scandal Tiger (PST) started to appear  — everywhere.  Like the furry orange creatures in a PGA version of Hammer the Hedgehog, Tiger’s sorry mug just keeps popping up. 

To add insult to irony, it’s usually accompanied by some noble tagline, like the latest Swiss avant-garde watchmaker Tag Heuer advertising series that features stunning black and white portraits of Tiger and asks, “What are you made of?”  Apparently, Tiger is made of something less praiseworthy than his Official Partner signed up for. 

In 2004, Forbes Magazine proclaimed Nike’s contract with Woods as one of the most shrewd in marketing history …

It’s no secret that Tiger Woods is a marketer’s dream. No company has capitalized on the appeal of the good-looking, clean-cut, articulate, scandal-free golf whiz more than Nike … “

It’s probably no secret that Tiger’s rapid decomposition is causing marketing teams around the globe to call out the Haz-Mat squads and could potentially make Nike one of the most screwed in marketing history. According to Nielsen, marketers have pulled ALL ads featuring TW from prime-time television network and cable channel broadcasts. 

If only the print media could follow suit. The January 2010 cover of Golf Digest sports a Norman Rockwell-esque photo of  TW lining up a putt with President Obama. The accompanying article is just painful to read … with subheads like, … “sharing a personal moment,” … “the art of grace,” … “at least look like you’re having fun,”… and “save some for the losers.”  According to the article,

What makes Tiger Woods the most dominant athlete in the world isn’t so much his golf swing as what he does between swings.”

Ok then.

The Take-Away:  FORE!! … … Sadly, this one’s headed for the deep rough (and it’s going to take more than a 7-iron to punch it back onto the fairway).

Pre-Ramble:  I promised myself that I would not, under any circumstances, write about the “balloon boy” incident.  That saga, while for a few fleeting moments had all the makings of fantastical folklore, quickly degenerated into a series of fraudulent, pathetic missteps.  The nanosecond the words “wife swap” came up in the back story, this scenario clicked into a whole different category. 

The thing is, while it is easy to dismiss the balloon boy incident as a lot of worthless hot air, it becomes more than a foolish attention-getting ploy when you consider its impact on the three young boys who were involuntarily drawn into the deception.

This is not your delightful, Little House on the Prairie, home-school environment where children thrive on first-hand experience grown out of curiosity and freedom. Young Falcon was not indulging a keen interest in meteorology or passion for flight.  This isn’t a couple of folks getting carried away with a silly idea either. This is something else.  This is two pathetic people who put their kids “out there” and at risk in a desperate and pitiful play for attention, fame, riches, whatever.  These are parents who are seriously, and in this case I believe criminally, misguided. 

The Take-Away:  As I indicated at the start, I am not going to dignify this incident with any discussion, except to express my deep dismay and concern over the plight of the three children who have been subjected to the incorrigible charade. Even with two feet on the ground, it is clear that little Falcon lives in as much danger every day as he would have experienced aimlessly drifting thousands of feet up inside a weather balloon.

Pre-Ramble: Whether you’re for him or against him, one thing that most folks can pretty much agree on (except for Rush Limbaugh, who doesn’t agree with anyone on anything) is that the recent award of the Nobel Peace Prize to American President Barack Obama is a puzzlement. Before now, who would have ever thought that the response to such news would be such a resounding, “Huh?!”

“So soon? Too early. He hasn’t had the time to do anything yet.”  — Lech Walensa, former Polish president, 1983 Nobel winner

“The real question Americans are asking is, “What has President Obama actually accomplished? It is unfortunate that the president’s star power has outshined tireless advocates who have made real achievements working towards peace and human rights.”  — Michael Steele, chairman of the Republican National Committee

“A bold statement of international support for his vision.”  — Former president Jimmy Carter, 2002 Nobel winner

“I join my fellow Americans in expressing pride in our president on this occasion.”  — Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., 2008 Republican presidential nominee

“Very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world’s attention and given its people hope for the future.”  — Nobel Committee Chairman Thorbjoern Jagland

I have a hard time imagining that the president’s own reaction to the wake-up scenario was anything short of, “Are you kidding me!?” (or words to that effect). In fact, it took him several hours to craft a response to the honor which included this qualifying statement:

“Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations … I will accept this award as a call to action.”

How frustrating must that be?  To be honored with one of, if not the most, prestigious awards in the world, and have to curb your enthusiasm in such a profound and carefully calculated way. I’m pretty sure there were no moments of unbridled jubilation, jumping up and down, or celebratory fist pumps … One gets the sense that everyone in the White House, including the president and first lady, were stunned into slack-jawed, take-a-moment-of-silence, disbelief.  How quickly do you think the communications staff shifted into full spin mode? You can almost hear the shit hitting the wheel wells.

The Take-Away:  To his credit, Barack Obama gets it.  He gets that the Nobel Peace Prize is an extraordinary honor. And he gets that it is an honor conferred upon a group of outstanding and deserving individuals, often in recognition of an exemplary achievement or lifetime of service.  Barack Obama gets that in this case, the Nobel award is a really tricky tribute (read: unfounded and premature).  I also think that President Obama is honestly and audaciously hopeful that he can earn this rare distinction retrocatively over the course of his life’s work. For the time being, I would like to hope that the parting shot on this episode echoes the sentiment of Israeli President, Shimon Peres,

“Under [his] leadership, peace became a real and original agenda. And from Jerusalem, I am sure all the bells of engagement and understanding will ring again. [He] gave us a license to dream and act in a noble direction.” 

Pre-Ramble:  So, I am totally tardy in weighing in on President Obama’s message to the nation’s schoolchildren yesterday.  The thing is, I am actually so stunned by the reaction of those who object to the president’s speech to students, even more so of those who object to the president addressing students at all, that I can barely pull my thoughts together. 

In his speech, President Obama draws upon personal experiences and makes the case for the role of education in a successful life.

He highlights education as the great equalizer and speaks to the challenges faced by young people in a media culture that often presents an unrealistic view of the world and can serve as a distraction from the knowledge, skills, habits and attitudes which would advance the likelihood of a successful future in it. 

The truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And, you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.”

What parent doesn’t want their child to hear that message?  What parent doesn’t want their child to work hard and stay in school?  What parent would rather take their child OUT OF SCHOOL, than have them listen to the president of the United States give an18 minute pep talk around the importance of education and personal responsibility?  (Are they as vigilant about what their kids are listening to the other 1,422 minutes in a day?) What parent doesn’t want their child to hear new ideas; ideas that might be counter to the ones that they hear at home?  What parent/American citizen doesn’t want their child to be more engaged in what is going on in their community, country and world?

Parents who don’t want their children to listen to the president talk about the value of education are, at the very least, missing a teachable moment — an opportunity to talk to their kids about the things that matter to them, to share their own perspectives on issues and invite their children to think for themselves about the things that are happening around them.

The Take-Away:  The more I think about it, the more I want my child to listen to that speech twice.

Pre-Ramble:  I’m sure there has been way more written about this incident than is necessary or desirable, but when has that ever stopped me?  By now, we’ve all seen the photo-op of what has been flippantly referred to as “The White House Beer Garden” (WSJ); “Foaming Diplomacy” (St. Paul Pioneer Press); ”Red, Lite and Blue Summit” (MSNBC); and my personal favorite, “The Keggar” (David Letterman).

I’m talking about the carefully choreographed shot of President Obama, professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and police Sgt. James Crowley ”hoisting a conciliatory beer around a picnic table next to the White House ‘s new swing set,” following an unfortunate altercation on Prof. Gates doorstep earlier in the week. Vice President Biden was also included at the last minute, even though he had committed no gaffe related to the incident (give him time).

In case you’ve been sequestered in some kind of isolation tank for the past two weeks, Sgt. Crowley responded to a call on a possible break-in at a Cambridge home and ended up arresting Prof. Gates for disorderly conduct, even after becoming aware that Gates was, in fact, the home’s owner. A week later, President Obama exacerbated matters when commenting off-handedly (at a news conference) that the Cambridge police had “acted stupidly” in arresting Gates — a word choice that he later qualified as regrettable.

So, Harvard scholar Gates, … weary having just returned from a trip to China, becomes agitated when he can’t open his own front door.  And Sgt. Crowley, … police officer doing his job, follows up on a call from a neighbor who had spotted a disgruntled man rattling around on Gate’s porch in the middle of the night.

Vigilant officer meets thwarted homeowner — soon, the situation has escalated into an event. Gates is throwing around emphatic exclamatories, and Crowley, tweaked by the tirade, carries out his duty to the very letter of the law. We weren’t there, we don’t know. And, thankfully, that isn’t even the point.

As a kid growing up in a Detroit suburb during the 60′s, I can remember hearing the distant sounds of riots in the middle of the night. And, remember Rodney King? … Fast forward a couple decades — we all know that this whole thing could have gone so much worse.

If we’re smart, we also recognize that the behavior of either Gates or Crowley could have been any one of us, responding inappropriately to a situation that gets the better of us. While President Obama probably should have declined to respond publically to the incident (doesn’t he have other important stuff going on?), the planets couldn’t have been lined up any better for the swift diffusion of this potentially explosive ”teachable moment.”  Stating the obvious, as a black man with a bi-racial heritage, President Obama is in the unique position to bring a deeper and more immediate understanding to the elusive dynamics of race relations in America. 

The Take-Away:  While hot spots of racial tension and its sad effects still smolder under the surface, the acceptance and respect demonstrated in the disarming tone of the Beer Summit models a new way to address our differences and handle the inevitable bumps that pop up. Whether we’re sitting on the White House lawn or in our own backyards, it shows that we can simmer down, sit around a table, look each other in the eye, and talk about things. We can find a common ground and choose to move forward to higher ground together.

Gates and Crowley had like sentiments following the reconsiliatory gathering:

[The day became an opportunity to] move not just the City of Cambridge or two individuals past this event, but the whole country beyond this and toward some meaningful discussion in the future … we didn’t spend too much time dwelling on the past … we spent a lot of time discussing the future.”  — Sgt. Crowley

It is incumbent upon Mr. Crowley and me to utilize the great opportunity that fate has given us to foster greater sympathy among the American public for the daily perils of policing on the one hand, and for the genuine fears of racial profiling on the other hand.” — Prof. Gates

Post-Note:  As a strong proponent of civic responsibility and long time fan of Gladys Kravitz (the Steven’s nosy neighbor on the 1970′s television series, Bewitched), I applaud Lucia Whalen, the individual who made the 911 call to Cambridge police, and welcome her to watch my back anytime.

Pre-Ramble: I can’t decide who should be madder … the wife of soon-to-be-resigning South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, his kids, the good people of the state of South Carolina, the Republican party, or Valerie Bauerlein and Alex Roth.

According to Valerie and Alex’s article in Wednesday’s (6/24) Wall Street Journal, Governor Sanford, a guy who has been mentioned as a possible Republican candidate in 2012, went AWOL last week, taking off in a nearby sport utility vehicle and turning off his mobile phone.  Apparently, the quirky governor regularly “ditched his bodyguards when taking a run or dashing out to Taco Bell or other favorite spots … ” (like Argentina?)

Initially, Sanford’s office refused to disclose his location, indicating only that he was, “hiking along the Appalachian Trail and was difficult to reach.”  Then, in a press conference late yesterday, a tearful Sanford revealed that “he had been in Argentina visiting a woman with whom he was having an extramarital affair.”

Ok, so – no wife wants to hear that her husband has been catting around with some gal in Argentina for the past eight years. The kids aren’t likely to be thrilled with that news either.  The people/tax payers of South Carolina deserve way better.  And, the Republican Party … well, they probably deserve whatever they are getting.  It’s Valerie and Alex that I feel most sorry for.

As the esteemed journalists that they undoubtedly are, the pair clearly spent many intensive hours diligently pursuing this story.  They researched the Appalachian Trail, posting a topographical map detailing the longest marked footpath in the U.S., noting elevations, and marking the point where a mobile tower last picked up Sanford’s phone signal.  

They inquired into the curious circumstances surrounding the governor’s absence, interviewing state officials, family friends and ordinary citizens. They considered the predicament of authorities who became uneasy when they hadn’t heard from the governor for several days and began marshalling an interim line of command should an urgent matter crop up.

Not to be able to get in touch with a person who is responsible for [the welfare of] 4.5 million people is a concern … the idea that for the day-to-day operations of our state, nobody knew who was in charge — that bothers people.” 

(Yep, that seems bothersome … )

Just imagine the myriad possible scenarios that a seasoned journalist would have to consider – Had untold stressors compelled the poor man to flee for solitude? … Had he become lost and disoriented while hiking in the wilderness? … Had he twisted an ankle and tumbled down the side of a cliff somewhere, clinging to a branch for dear life? … Had he been abducted and tied up in a cave, desperately waiting to be rescued?  Political detractors?  Folly gone wrong? 

Yes, yes, yes, and yes! Turns out, it’s all of the above!  There was definitely stress involved … it’s probably a lot harder than we think to deceive several million people (and ultimately, even harder to deceive oneself); … Lost and disoriented? … Check!  This man had clearly lost his way long before he turned the key on the get-away car; … Clinging for dear life? … Absolutely, but his ankle wasn’t the twisted body part that put his ass cliff-side; … Desperate? … You betcha!  Such is the plight of even the most repentant scumbag rat; … Folly? Oh, yes!  This ranks right up there with Elliot Spitzer, John Edwards, and Bill Clinton (sorry Bill, but it has pretty much been established that you did, in fact, have “sexual relations with that woman”). 

The Take-Away:  Don’t cry for us in Argentina, there Mark; the truth is …  well, the truth plays no role in this saga, particularly now that the “steamy” emails are out.  A fitting punishment for you, my friend, would be to make you fly back and forth between South Carolina and Argentina for eight more years pondering “moral legitimacy” while sitting in coach, eating trail mix, and watching Madonna in Evita. Some have even suggested that you be forced to actually hike all 2,178 miles of the Appalachian Trail … just to clear your head.

Post-Note from Daisy:  Even though you might try to rinse them off in the sprinkler, if you’ve got mud in your paws, it’s gonna come off on the rug.

Pre-Ramble: In commencement addresses all across the country, graduates received variations on great words of wisdom. Speakers ranging from heads of state to actors to business executives delivered messages of perseverance and triumph mixed with a humbling measure of cautionary hope.

This past Sunday’s New York Times (6/14/09, p. A18) offered snippets from some of these messages …

• President Obama told graduates at the University of Notre Dame that they were a generation who must “find a path back to prosperity…”
• At the University of Wisconsin, buzz-kill Major League Baseball commissioner, Bud Selig lamented that this was “the most difficult economic environment since the Great Depression…”
• Her Supreme Talk Show Goddess-ness, Oprah Winfrey regaled Duke University graduates with a run down on her accomplishments, accolades, multiple homes, and private jets, reminding them that unless they have been able to “help somebody else move forward, they haven’t completed the circle of success.”

I was particularly inspired by co-founder of Google, Larry Page’s remarks to students at the University of Michigan (a fine, fine institution; see shameless plug above right):

… I had one of those dreams when I was 23. When I suddenly woke up. I was thinking, What if we could download the whole Web and just keep the links? And I grabbed a pen and started writing. Sometimes it is important to wake up and stop dreaming. I spent the middle of that night scribbling out the details and convincing myself that it would work. Soon after, I told my advisor, Terry Winograd, it would take a couple of weeks to download the Web. He nodded knowingly, fully aware it would take much longer, but wise enough to not tell me. The optimism of youth is often underrated. Amazingly, I had no thought of building a search engine. The idea wasn’t even on the radar. But, much later, we happened upon a better way of ranking Web pages to make a really great search engine, and Google was born. When a really great dream shows up, grab it.

The Take-Away: Dah! What he said!  And this advice isn’t just for the newly minted graduate, it’s for we older vintages as well. Take up residence with that “optimism of youth” … Start dreaming and, “WHEN A REALLY GREAT DREAM SHOWS UP, GRAB IT!”

Post Note: Interestingly, if you google the word “dreams” the first entry is:

An Online Guide to Dream Interpretation, Mar. 6, 2009 … Dream moods is a free online dictionary source to help you interpret the meanings to your dreams. Check out our 4000+ word dream dictionary, … www.dreammoods.com/ – Cached – Similar … Dream Moods A-Z Dictionary, Common Dreams, Teeth Dreams, Naked Dreams, Chase Dreams, Dream info, Dream Bank, Flying Dreams … More results from dreammoods.com >> …

We have to assume that Larry was able to interpret his dream as, “You will be wildly, beyond-your-wildest-dreams, a bazillion times over, incredibly, stupid, crazy successful with this idea you just dreamed here!”

Pre-Ramble: I run on a lake path near my house, and the great thing about this venue is that the lake has some neat new surprise to offer every day. Sometimes it’s the sunlight sparkling off the surface of the water, or a big old fish jumping clear out of the lake to grab a bug, or ominous dark clouds in the distance, a harbinger of weather to come. Being in the presence of the lake is always calming and often inspiring.

So, I was out on a run (actually more of a shuffle) yesterday when I came upon one of those sights that literally stops you in your tracks and makes you say “Wow!” out loud, even though there’s no one there to hear it. Poufy white clouds were hanging against a clear blue sky — picturesque as all get out — and then, below, reflecting in the still glass surface of the lake, was an exact copy of the scene above.

We’ve all seen that, but something about the cartoon-esque shapes of the clouds and the quality of the light made me feel like I was caught in the middle of a painting. As is often the case, I wished I had had my camera to take a picture of this very cool effect and share it with family and friends.  

However, as I do not generally bring my camera along on runs, rather than revel in the visual delight that was before me, I spent a majority of the time trudging along grousing about not having my camera … and how long would it take me to run home and get the camera … ? … and would the effect be gone when I got back … ? … blah, blah …

Basically, I wrecked the whole vibe of the moment trying to capture it.

And even if I had had my camera, the fact that I would be messing around with taking a picture of the beautiful scene — am I getting the best angle on it? … is the lighting good? … is the shot in focus? … is the tip of my finger in the shot again? … etc. – would interfere with the beauty and meaning in the moment itself.

The Take-Away: Recording life’s milestones and meaningful moments is an important thing to do, however there is also something to be said for the value of the pure, fully-lived moment.  As we embark on the fun, carefree days of summer, try to find space to live in the moment and enjoy whatever is there for you – unencumbered by pressure to capture, record, scrapbook, tweet, … and ok …, blog about it.

Rejoice in the things that are present – all else is beyond thee.  — Montaigne

Pre-Ramble:  In an effort to keep the baby-birds-in-nest habitat near the front door of our house as tranquil as possible, I’ve taken to re-routing all nonessential traffic to one of our alternate entrance/exit sites — much to the consternation of my girls, (who are perfectly happy to run around the neighborhood with their peeps for hours on end, but ask them to take ten extra steps to the back door and their tail-feathers get all bent out of joint.)

Also, to minimize disruption, I’ve cut back on the number of times I check on the nest to just 50 times a day. Still, each time I think I’m sneaking up on the foyer window as my stealthiest self, I’ll focus in on the nest only to find Mother Chipping Sparrow looking directly at me with her death glare, all, “Seriously? … You’re looking out here again?” 

In spite of the suboptimal accommodations, the Chiplets seem to be doing just great. Mom and Dad have been fetching take-out – bugs mainly — and all four chicks are looking discernibly fuzzier.

The other big buzz today centers on the 82nd Scripps National Spelling Bee which moves into the nationally televised semifinals in Washington D.C.  If you haven’t seen the award-winning film, Spellbound, you have no idea just how … well, spellbinding, the National Spelling Bee can be.

… one of the highest-rated specials on ESPN (a sports channel), … a nail-biting face-off among hundreds of teens who train as rigorously as any Olympic athlete on their heroic quest for glory.

A few fun facts about the bee:

• The National Spelling Bee was begun in 1925 where nine students participated in the event
• The program, which hosts a record 293 spellers, is open to students attending public, private, parochial, charter and home schools
• Participants range in age from 9 to 15 years of age; most of the kids are either 13 or 14 years old
• English is not the first language of 33 of this year’s spellers, and 117 of them speak languages other than English
• According to the Bee’s official website, the spellers’ favorite words include Weissnichtwo and humuhumunukunukuapuaa (my spell check just shorted out)
• Most bees are fuzzy and carry an electrostatic charge which aids in the adherence of pollen. (You didn’t think I would get through this post without some stupid reference to honey bees, did you?) 

The Take-Away: I think we can all agree that we are more than thankful that we are not in front of a microphone trying to sound out the word “ameliorate” …   And just to drive that point home, here is a spelling tip from the official spelling bee primer:

One of the hardest tings to remember about werds from Latin is weather an internal consonant (like rr in interrupt) is doubled. To reinforce your memery of the correct spelling, try to remmember related werds all together (like interrupt along wit interrupshun or necessary along with necesscity).