Pre-Ramble: According to Wired Magazine’s Scott Brown, the dynamic of Internet communications is turning us into a virtual community of stand-up comedians. His premise is that when we communicate online, we’re all vying for the attention, approval and esteem of the vast “out-there,” and we use the elusive mechanism of humor to engage our audience. He describes the ”unleashed energies of millions of amateur comedians” in this way:

Thanks to the digital hive mind, comedy is colloquy, everything is material and life has become one big writer’s room … a massive clusterchuckle of witty oneupsmanship.

Beyond mere humor, Brown cites “insight” as the basic currency of the information economy. Here, unexpected and/or ironic combinations of current events, issues, ideas and images draw upon the elements of “memory, annotation, contrast and collage” to create a unique type of “resonant” communication. The goal is to wield a blend of one’s personal area(s) of expertise, creativity, and wordsmithing prowess to spark a new awareness, or even better, elicit a response from an audience.

You can’t execute a high-quality social media communication without being either outright funny, clever, snarky, cutesy, or over-the-top enthusiastic (extreme use of capital letters and exclamatory punctuation). Deep knowledge around a variety of obscure, random or very cool, people, events and factoids is imperative.

The new comedy-based standard also brings out our competitive edge. There is definitely a smack-down quality to the parry and thrust of internet banter … a combination wit-fest and blogslam. Listen for the virtual fist-pumps as millions of master-hipster-quippers hit the “send” button. 

Brown suggests that “funny” is becoming a language unto itself, the “lingua franca of the wired world.”  Huh?  See, right there, I just got nicked by an obscure, foreign-language-based quip — “lingua franca” sounds really cool, but I have no idea what means, so, I’ll have to take a quick click over to wikipedia to look the damn thing up… (Brown-1, Emmons-0)

The Take-Away: Wow, this is unfortunate — I have nothing clever, insightful or informative to offer here.

Post-Note:  In a nod to stupid pet tricks, a byproduct of the imperative to be entertaining is that stupidness has been elevated to an art form. Case in point, the Lolcat series. (“Lol” as in text-message speak for “laugh-out-loud,” and “cat” as in … well, cat …, the lethargic house-pet.) People upload pictures of cats doing things that cats do (like lying around, or walking on the backs of couches) accompanied with a headline or some kind of dialogue that enhances what the cat is doing or thinking. People take turns trying to come up with a clever headline or dialogue, and still others vote on which headline or dialogue is the best. While I have spent a good fifteen minutes on the site, as a devout cat-hater, I refuse to concede that this phenomenon is in any way funny.

If you want funny, go to YouTube and listen to the Dane Cook rif on Bees and Sharks:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AtP0ctTQY4… (Warning: look out for some foul language.)

Pre-Ramble: In a quick follow-on to my earlier iPhone post which dealt with the technology side of things, I feel it only fitting that I take a minute to provide some info on another form of ”software” - iPhone fashion. 

As with the plethora of add-on applications for the innards of the iPhone 3G, there are also apparently a number of unique ways to distinguish the exterior of the phone. I was blissfully unaware of this until it came time to work up a list of stocking-stuffers for my girls. When they suggested a new cover for their phone, I gave them the clueless, all-to-familiar, huh? Who knew? All this time I’ve been using a boring, naked phone. 

Customization is clearly the name of the game here; there are iPhone accessories designed to stick to it, dangle from it, or wrap around it.  Options for the look and feel of the phone run the gambit from basic to fanciful to absurd, both in terms of functionality, aesthetics and price. You’ve got your basic off-the-rack plastic case, sold in a variety of colors at the Apple Store or online for between $30 and $50. Then you have rows of stuff in the funky cart in the middle of the mall… Trust me, most of these are so poorly designed that they don’t even fit on a phone, let alone hold up to the kind of punishment that the average phone is subjected to (bottom of lockers, purses, floppy low-ride pockets, floors of cars…). Which brings us to the more intrepid, quasi-protective covers designed to resist all manner of trauma; these macho styles are made out of flexible neon rubber, carbon fiber, and tire-tread and come with enough straps and clips to ensure that your phone is going to stay well within shouting distance. 

As the mother of teenage girls, I am particularly keyed in on the variety of “runway” phone fashions - designer editions, the majority of which are very sparkly and very spendy. Hot brands including Hello Kitty, Juicy Couture, Louis Vuitton, and even Prada feature hand-stitched Italian leather, animal prints, and rhinestones, and can run anywhere from $50 to $20,000. (No. The answer is no. Because I said so.)

My favorites though, are the quirky, retro-esque cases created by the Narwhal Company. The quaint, impractical sleeping-bag style comes in a bunch of different fabrics, each reminiscent of an old necktie or something you’ve seen on HBO’s Mad Men. The juxtaposition of the no-tech Narwhal and the ultra-sleek iPhone is amusing, as is their, what I hope is tongue-in-cheek, marketing pitch:

You own the Holy Grail of modern consumer electronics – don’t let a mass-produced casing diminish its style. Our iPhone covers compliment the iPhone’s style with a unique pattern on the outside, and protect it from scratches and falls with a soft alpine fleece lining on the inside. The fit is snug enough to keep your iPhone safely inside the cover without being too tight to quickly remove it for an incoming call. Our iPhone covers are as unique as your phone conversations.

Sorry to be a buzz-kill, Narwhal:  The folks who buy the iPhone are heavy users. Fleece lining or no, the phone-cozy concept is not going to cut it with this crowd. For them, it’s all about access and response time. Even if they’re planning to ignore the message, no self-respecting teenager is going to use up valuable nanoseconds dumping their phone out of a sack to check an incoming text. Plus, like mice, where there’s one text message, there are thirty more.  A simple “conversation” conducted via text-message, even those involving a shockingly minimal number of characters, can string out over several hours, even days. The bottom line is, if the screen is blocked, the phone may as well be in a vault at the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper. 

The Take-Away: What more need be said? Who really needs a fancy phone cover when you never actually put the phone down? Wake me up when you’ve perfected the iPhone cover that my girls really want - the prosthetic device that literally becomes an extension of their arm.