Pre-Ramble:

Lots to love (Sandra Bullock, Sarah Jessica Parker) … and hate (Charlize Theron, twice). 

One thing I noticed this year was that the pit-stop interviewers would ask  an actress who had designed their dress, and maybe, if they had on some outrageous bling, who designed their jewelry. Sure … normal.

And then, they would turn to stand-by-significant-other and ask him who designed his tux.

Don’t read this, Tom Ford – Is it wrong of me … even sexist of me … to totally NOT CARE what kind of tux an actor is wearing? Armani, Prada, Tom Ford, J.C. Penny … HELLO!? … THEY ARE ALL WEARING BLACK JACKETS WITH BLACK PANTS AND WHITE SHIRTS!

Sure; there is no doubt that some actors look better in The Uniform than others. It is no coincidence that Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler were co-presenters for “Best Visual Effects.” (And T-Bone Burnett would look beyond cool in anything he put on.)

The Take-Away:  Sorry guys, even if you look amazing, … even if you’re rockin’ a periwinkle pocket square, … even if you’re Griswold Lorillard at the annual Autumn Ball, … I still don’t care what brand of black suit you’re wearing.