Pre-Ramble:  So, a friend of mine just got back from a trip to the Boundary Waters in northern Minnesota.  The Boundary Waters is a revered place to Minnesotans; it is a Mecca of all things good and rustic and wild and adventurous.  FYI - If you’re going to the Boundary Waters, you are going camping.

Camping …  you know … dragging a tent, musty sleeping bags, a flashlight and all of your food to a remote location and dumping it onto a clearing in the woods. You spread it all out like you’re playing house and then sit around on a log until the ”wildlife” can divine your location. 

The people who enjoy camping are the same people who jump at fishing and canoeing and hunting and hiking … the out-doorsy folks who have a knack for gathering sticks, reading maps and tying knots. These people use the racks on the tops of their cars.

According to National Park Service statistics, 5.4 million people camped last year, 3.1 million of them in traditional tents and another 2.3 million in RVs. Campers use all kinds of neat outdoor gear … lanterns, canteens, tarps, lots of bungee cords and stuff with netting.  Sure, it all looks real back-to-nature and doable in the retail environment, but you mustn’t lose sight of the fact that being outdoors is a critical part of the camping experience.

Outdoors is a whole nother thing … (you can quote me on that) … there’s dirt, sand, gravel, pointy rocks and picky grass out there. And, there’s nowhere to go to get away from it – except in your tent, which, after ten minutes, also has dirt, sand, gravel and grass in it. And then there are bugs. Bugs love the outdoors and they are everywhere – crawling, circling, buzzing and biting. Unless you’re doused in repellant or zip yourself into your sleeping bag, the bulk of your time will be spent On Patrol, … swinging, swatting, smacking, scratching and bleeding.  Bringing in the added menace of the potential to encounter actual mice, snakes, bats, coyote and bears makes the prospect of the idyllic camping experience simply absurd. 

But, wait!!  A new type of camping has emerged that offers a significantly less rustic experience — glamping.  According to Glamping Girl, an entire website devoted to this travel trend, there’s a whole new way to enjoy the outdoors. A cross between “glamour” and “camping,” glamping brings civilized accoutrements to uncivilized environments.  Glamping is an outdoor experience, often in an exotic location, that integrates cushy, high-end creature comforts like beds, linens, china, chefs, butlers, bathroom facilities, spa staff and cocktails. I bet there’s toilet paper too.

The five-star experience – There are glamping destinations all over the world and a wide variety of living quarters from which to choose … elaborate tents, cliff-side cabins, desert retreats, floating villages, … for example …

• Mille Etoiles offers 14 yurts in the Rhone-Aples region of France overlooking the Ardeche River gorge. Tents are built on oak platforms and furnished with four-poster beds, oriental rugs and antiques… “so guests feel like they are on an Edwardian safari …”
• Montana’s Paws Up Ranch has horseback riding and fly-fishing and accommodations that boast newly built “tents” on the Blackfoot River complete with king-sized beds, art on the walls, a personal butler and private master bath. Rates start at $695 per night for two and include three meals per day.
• Located in a hidden valley 1,000 meters above sea level near two inactive volcanoes in Gunung Gede Pangrango National Park, Situgunung is the oldest tourist destination in West Java and a perfect location for glamping.  Along with intrepid (and supervised) outbound activities, glampsite amenities include pre-pitched fire-proof tents, comfortable restrooms and a five-star buffet.

The Take-Away: How about a glamp-out at the Waldorf-Astoria? … take a day-pack into Soho … do a little white-knuckle shopping on Madison Avenue … hunt for vermin on Wall Street … and have close encounters with the wildlife in Times Square.  Throw in some marshmallows, and this is the perfect summer adventure!  Sign me up!