Pre-Ramble: I wasn’t sure about this, but today’s Wall Street Journal cinches it … I love fashion … but only on hangers or models.

In a series on New York Fashion Week, Journal writer Elizabeth Holmes takes us inside the closets of the uber-sub-strata of shoppers who are willing (and able, clearly) to pay full price for the latest runway looks. 

Holmes profiles a couple of gals looking for their perspective on the costs and benefits of being fashion forward. Most of them are in the 40 to 50 year-old age range and lead lifestyles that necessitate a lot of gala-going.

Do the math – Cindy Rachofsky, for example, is a 54-year-old Dallas philanthropist and art enthusiast. She considers her wardrobe “a collection that she is curating” … adding that she hopes “someday someone will find it important and significant.” In recent curatorial activities, Ms. Rachofsky has purchased pieces from deceased British designer Alexander McQueen including a $12,000 gown for a charity event as well as 13 other garments. (14 X $12,000 = $169,029)

That’s Cindy in the photo above, wearing an important and significant Alexander McQueen jacket from the Fall 2010 Collection.  In addition to the fact that the design is possibly inspired by something out of Acme Tent & Awning, I think we can all agree that Ms. Rachofsky is looking very happy, and arty,… we’ll even give her “philanthropic” in those pricy designer threads.  

The thing is – and this is my issue with most designer runway looks – I don’t think they look good on regular people.  Compared to the runway version (scroll down in linked article) which is paired with over-the-knee black scrunched boots and a turtleneck (extra points for that, btw), the look somehow moves from “colorful, edgy and eclectically austere” to “curious get-up.”

It’s not personal.  As far as I can tell, Ms. Rachofsky is a lovely woman … beautiful eyes and smile … decent bone structure …  nice figure, etc. But, I don’t care who you are, the minute you step out of the suspended context of the runway and strut your stuff into the real world, an outfit like that looks ri-dic-u-lous. 

Well, and paired with dyed-to-match shoes and custom-made earrings?  We don’t need to know who Stacy and Clinton are to know that matchy-matchy-ness is so “what not to wear”!  (Even our man Tim Gunn couldn’t make this work.)

The Take-Away:  Fashion is fun.  I secretly enjoy fashion.  Truth be told, as a lowly writer (unlike artists, musicians and curators, we’re SUPPOSED to be dowdy … ) my station and pay grade don’t afford me the opportunity or wearwithall to indulge my inner fashionista as thoroughly as I might like.  Plus, it’s not my gift.  Anyone who knows me knows that most of my attempts at fashion are confined to boxy, off-the-rack, black or grey sweaters.

Post-Note:  The WSJ article also offers this jewel of insight from the young, hip and serially fashionable Christine Chiu. Apparently, Ms. Chiu, who is married to the founder of Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery, goes to events every night of the week — often making multiple wardrobe changes in a single night. She cautions,

“If you’re going to a gala for some kind of disease and then you go to a hip art event, you can’t wear the same thing.”

Gratefully noted.

Pre-Ramble: In the interest of reigning in on the random potpourri of stuff I cover in the blog here, I promised my new-found blogging brand-identity guru, Gary (more about him at a later date) that I would keep my posts short, tight and focused on my niche topics, innovation and creativity. Great plan. Yes. Go. Ready.

Well, needless to say, I managed to breach that plan almost instantaneously by posting what is probably one of my longest entries ever last week. I knew it was long, but in my own defense, it was right on topic - scoping around in people’s heads to get a better understanding of how they think and what inspires them is totally aligned with innovation, and one of my very favorite things to do. And, I couldn’t leave out the part about Nerf balls.

Spoiler alert. Ok, so, in another failed attempt, I will now keep the blog entry brief while veering completely off topic …  I never thought I’d have to state my position on this, but the recent headliner in WSJ’s Personal Journal (4/22/10) has pushed my hand — I will never spend $3,000 on a pair of lederhosen.

“Not since the Von Trapp children donned their lederhosen (German for “leather trousers”) in “The Sound of Music” has the fashion world seen so many variations on the traditional attire of Bavarian Boys. Naturally, the look has been transformed for contemporary women. Gone are the front flaps and suspenders. Many of the new leather shorts look like regular pleated and cuffed shorts – with a certain swagger.”

The “city shorts” look, the latest innovation/trend in fashion, is supposed to imbue the wearer with a versatile, ”effortless sensuality” … 

“It’s got that rocker feel, but it’s also casual … Teen idol Miley Cyrus recently wore black leather shorts while performing, and singer Rihanna appeared on the cover of GQ in a tiny brown pair of Balmain leather shorts – and nothing else.” 

Swagger, my ass!  Oh, yes – this totally fits with my lifestyle.  Next time I’m performing at the grocery store I’ll be sure to rock the shorts with some sturdy tights and a tasseled loafer. (I know better than to attempt the bare-legged option.) Fashion reporter Rachel Dodes offers some quick tips (accompanied here by my smarty-pants remarks) on how to pull off the look:

1. “Keep it simple – when wearing leather shorts, it’s easy to become a bad cliche” – No, seriously?
2. “Wear leather shorts for daytime as well as nighttime” - From where I sit, as long as you don’t leave the house, you’d be appropriate wearing the look at any time of day or night.
3. “Be conscious of what looks good on you” – This is code for, “If you’re old or fat don’t even finish reading this blog.”
4. “Don’t wear the style in more formal offices” - I’m sure it will be fine in your casual offices, particularly if you pair it with your feather vest (shown above right).
5. “Don’t wear leather shorts with high heels or anything too revealing … Leather shorts can look ‘a little cheesy’ with platforms” – Especially if you are working street corners late at night.
6. “Don’t be shy; leather shorts have attitude… Designer Laurie Lynn Stark advises wearing leather shorts with ‘a low boot, a bikini top and a scarf around your head.” – This requires no comment.

The Take-Away: See point #6 above.

Pre-Ramble: With New York Fashion Week behind us, it is only fitting for a design conscious blog to look back and recap some highlights. Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum and Michael Kors could be seen ring-side as collections of every stripe pranced by – floofy dresses, structured trench coats, floppy hats, geometric handbags and strappy calfskin booties from designers like Donna Karan, Alexander McQueen, Oscar de la Renta and Chanel. 

Cathy Horyn gives a review in the New York Times titled, A Sputter Here, a Spark There. I’m guessing this means that she thought some of the designers presented winning collections, while others, not so much.

As with other mediums of design – industrial design, graphic design, architecture – innovative fashion design walks the fine line between creativity (wow, that’s so edgy and cool) and commercial appeal (will a twenty-something in Iowa buy that?). This season, influential designers shredded and draped their way around the latest synthetic/organic fabrics to bring us “tribal gothic” and “young, fun, disheveled.” Apparently, the function and value of all of this lies deep in the human psyche, reflecting both the aspirational style of the wearer, as well as the essence of the cultural zeitgiest.

Frankly, whether it’s stars or stripes, … Armani or Mizrahi, … bohemian tie-dye or gold-studded leather… the runway scenario continues to mystify me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate all the inspiration, invention and craftsmanship that go into creating a high-fashion garment – I totally do.  And, it’s not that I don’t want to be stylish – I desperately do. It’s just that I repel fashion. I may as well be wearing an invisibility cloak. I’m able to manage a limited assortment of neutrals (black, white and gray), but try to add a “little color” and I feel like I’m popping out of a tiny car with floppy red shoes and a squirting lapel flower.

To that point, no discussion of recent runway trends would be complete without mention of the new leggy creatures strutting their stuff at this year’s Minnesota State Fair. Talk about animal print — Conan O’Brian’s white chocolate bust (with bacon hair) can’t hold a candle to what was going on in the livestock tent this season. Llamas, those long-necked pack animals from the highlands of Peru, ditched their trekking gear and donned “accessible American classics” for the fair’s annual 4-H Llama Costume Contest.  Lucky you – here’s a front row seat for the show:

The Take-Away:  Clearly, it’s all about attitude.  Models, and the designers who adorn them, must have a certain inborn sensibility, a panache, a plucky stance that tells the world that they – flashing the eau current fashion P.O.V. – are so all that.

Pre-Ramble: One of my favorite friends is a jewelry designer. She has her own little business — if you can call that work. She gets to play with rare and sparkly gemstones all day. She has a brown leather briefcase that she carries around and it’s filled with all kinds of exquisite stuff.

Anyway, every year she goes to Las Vegas to a giant jewelry trade show… Christmas in May, really. Vendors from all over the world bring their jewels to trade and sell. This year she said that vendors were very conscious of the strained economic scenario, and had a much less stringent set of conditions around sales. She also said that this year, everywhere she turned, people were selling estate jewelry (code for used jewelry, often from people who are deceased) — specifically tiaras.

Tiaras?

Suffice it to say that, up until that point, the notion of owning a tiara, possibly more than one, was completely foreign to me. Beyond princesses, beauty queens, brides and four-year-olds, who actually wears tiaras? (And, I am rather stunned that I was able to come up with four categories of people just then, who would look totally normal in a tiara.)

According to renowned jewelry authority, Diana Scarisbrick,

“The tiara is the hallmark of grace and distinction worn for centuries by nobility and high society and favored by movie stars and modern brides.” 

Ms. Scarisbrick has written a book that “traces the history and social context of tiaras, as well as the fascinating succession of owners of some especially remarkable [pieces] … showcasing an astonishing range of styles, shapes and configurations … and celebrating the artistry, glamour and romantic mystique of these exquisite objects.”

(Of course, if you google “tiara” you can also find a link to, “Tiara Town … your one-stop tiara paradise.”) It is also interesting to note that superheroine, Wonder Woman is often depicted wearing a tiara, and hers can be “used as a weapon.”

Ok – so let’s say I take the kid’s college fund to Vegas and splurge on my very own tiara. And, since I’m basically a thrifty type, let’s say it’s a used pre-owned vintage tiara.  How much am I spending on this thing?  What is the resale on a gently used tiara? I guess it depends on what kind of materials it is made of, the quality and condition of the stones, and whether or not it was formerly owned by somebody really cool, like Audrey Hepburn, The Queen Mother, or Dame Edna.

So, let’s say I get the tiara, and, like my first pair of red patent-leather shoes, I insist on wearing it home. Nobody notices in Vegas, it turns a few heads on the plane, and by the time the wheels hit the tarmac in the Twin Cities I feel like a complete freak. The tiara is probably not going to fly in Minnesota, home of the warm hot dish and sensible shoes — a blingy headband, maybe, but not a tiny bedazzled crown.

Think about it… Where am I wearing the tiara besides in my office? … Walking the dog? … Grocery shopping? … On the golf course? … To book club? … “Oh Kathie, is that a new tiara? … “  … I suppose it would work on New Year’s Eve or Halloween, or the next time I go to a coronation. If you know me, you know that I am generally pretty conservative when it comes to fashion. Can a tiara be worn with a turtleneck?

The Take-Away:  A quick consult with Nina Garcia’s “Little Black Book of Fashion” confirms my assumption that the tiara is not quite mainstream. However, while she makes no mention of the bejeweled headpiece specifically, there are plenty of guidelines around fashionable presentation. I think I have found a suitable tiara loophole on page 142, where Nina sums it all up by saying:

I have spent a good many seasons watching fashion trends come and go, style myths created and dismantled, hemlines rise and fall. The one solid piece of advice I have to offer is: don’t take it all too seriously… because, in the end you are the only judge that really matters. … Style is a matter of finding out who you are and who you want to be in the world. I hope you choose to be fabulous, daring, fun, inspired, and yourself.”

Clearly, what she means here is, “Go ahead — wear the tiara!”

Pre-Ramble: Well, you probably heard it somewhere else first, but I’ll repeat it for emphasis — according to Vogue editor, Anna Wintour, Fashion Week is going for “understated” this year…

I don’t think anyone is going to want to look overly flashy, overly glitzy, too Dubai, whatever you want to call it… I just don’t think that’s the moment.

Well, phew! I am so grateful for that insight, since I was just planning to stock up on desperately glitzy resort wear for our upcoming trip to Duluth. I think Anna is so right-on in her assertion that the pricing in fashion has become excessive, that a “sense of reality is needed,” and that there is “a very correct correction going on.”  

In these challenging economic times, it’s no wonder that designers, shop owners, and fashion plates are ruffled. Other sources echo Wintour’s sentiment, like this weekend’s headline in the Village Voice — “Grim, downscale fashion week starts today,” or USA Today — “… fashionistas have turned into recessionistas, … fearful of spending in a tanking economy.”  Obviously, these editors should be issued a fashion violation for their use of the words “grim” and ”tanking,” respectively; both clearly on the list of “words-which-shall-not-be-used” to describe economic conditions… (see related post from Feb. 4)

Quick primer: For those of you who don’t have teenage daughters and season’s pass to Project Runway, Bryant Park is an annual week long series of fashion shows that bring designers from all over the world to strut their stuff. Located in New York’s fashion district (duh), Bryant Park will host somewhere around 70 invitation-only events this year. According to city sources, last year’s shows drew more than 230,000 attendees and brought in over $465 million in visitor spending. Some of the “top drawer” designers who will show their collections during 2009 fashion week are Nicole Miller, Marc Jacobs, Caroline Herrera, Jason Wu (the young man who designed Michelle Obama’s dress for the inauguration), and Mattel.

Mattel, as in Barbie. According to her very own predominately pink blog, every girl’s fashion icon will “celebrate fifty years of fun, fashion, and friends” during Fashion Week, “… Everything from the most talked about runway moments, hottest parties, chicest trends and … all the latest must-have goodies!”  OMG!! … The Barbies didn’t get the memo! … Quick — somebody call the Dream House and let them know that glamour, bling, and big hair are out this year.

The Take-Away: A missive from luxe life fashion blog, ChicToday, says it all:

… we must remember that in these dire times, fashionable doesn’t have to mean expensive, but simply and stylishly elegant.  

Ms. Wintour’s under-the-radar ensemble — marigold print Carolina Herrera dress ($2,490), Burberry sateen trench ($1,595), and Manolo Blahnik alligator sling-backs ($2,685) – reflect these modest times perfectly.

Pre-Ramble: In a quick follow-on to my earlier iPhone post which dealt with the technology side of things, I feel it only fitting that I take a minute to provide some info on another form of ”software” - iPhone fashion. 

As with the plethora of add-on applications for the innards of the iPhone 3G, there are also apparently a number of unique ways to distinguish the exterior of the phone. I was blissfully unaware of this until it came time to work up a list of stocking-stuffers for my girls. When they suggested a new cover for their phone, I gave them the clueless, all-to-familiar, huh? Who knew? All this time I’ve been using a boring, naked phone. 

Customization is clearly the name of the game here; there are iPhone accessories designed to stick to it, dangle from it, or wrap around it.  Options for the look and feel of the phone run the gambit from basic to fanciful to absurd, both in terms of functionality, aesthetics and price. You’ve got your basic off-the-rack plastic case, sold in a variety of colors at the Apple Store or online for between $30 and $50. Then you have rows of stuff in the funky cart in the middle of the mall… Trust me, most of these are so poorly designed that they don’t even fit on a phone, let alone hold up to the kind of punishment that the average phone is subjected to (bottom of lockers, purses, floppy low-ride pockets, floors of cars…). Which brings us to the more intrepid, quasi-protective covers designed to resist all manner of trauma; these macho styles are made out of flexible neon rubber, carbon fiber, and tire-tread and come with enough straps and clips to ensure that your phone is going to stay well within shouting distance. 

As the mother of teenage girls, I am particularly keyed in on the variety of “runway” phone fashions - designer editions, the majority of which are very sparkly and very spendy. Hot brands including Hello Kitty, Juicy Couture, Louis Vuitton, and even Prada feature hand-stitched Italian leather, animal prints, and rhinestones, and can run anywhere from $50 to $20,000. (No. The answer is no. Because I said so.)

My favorites though, are the quirky, retro-esque cases created by the Narwhal Company. The quaint, impractical sleeping-bag style comes in a bunch of different fabrics, each reminiscent of an old necktie or something you’ve seen on HBO’s Mad Men. The juxtaposition of the no-tech Narwhal and the ultra-sleek iPhone is amusing, as is their, what I hope is tongue-in-cheek, marketing pitch:

You own the Holy Grail of modern consumer electronics – don’t let a mass-produced casing diminish its style. Our iPhone covers compliment the iPhone’s style with a unique pattern on the outside, and protect it from scratches and falls with a soft alpine fleece lining on the inside. The fit is snug enough to keep your iPhone safely inside the cover without being too tight to quickly remove it for an incoming call. Our iPhone covers are as unique as your phone conversations.

Sorry to be a buzz-kill, Narwhal:  The folks who buy the iPhone are heavy users. Fleece lining or no, the phone-cozy concept is not going to cut it with this crowd. For them, it’s all about access and response time. Even if they’re planning to ignore the message, no self-respecting teenager is going to use up valuable nanoseconds dumping their phone out of a sack to check an incoming text. Plus, like mice, where there’s one text message, there are thirty more.  A simple “conversation” conducted via text-message, even those involving a shockingly minimal number of characters, can string out over several hours, even days. The bottom line is, if the screen is blocked, the phone may as well be in a vault at the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper. 

The Take-Away: What more need be said? Who really needs a fancy phone cover when you never actually put the phone down? Wake me up when you’ve perfected the iPhone cover that my girls really want - the prosthetic device that literally becomes an extension of their arm.

Pre-Ramble: I just ordered a couple of new turtlenecks online. I already have quite a few in my closet… Ok, you could choke a horse with the number of turtlenecks I have, and frankly, I take a lot of flack for it. The common perception is that turtlenecks go arm-in-arm with polar fleece, sturdy shoes, and pursed lips. (On that note, as a mother of two teenage girls, I’d like to see a line of prom wear that incorporates these elements.) While you won’t see me hanging with the Girls Next Door, it’s not like I’m understudy to The Church Lady either. It is high time I stuck my neck out in defense of the perpetually stylish, highly versatile wardrobe choice.

First of all, turtlenecks come in a variety of colors and textures and, as shown on Daisy at right, the neckline frames the face nicely. Like a second skin, the turtleneck is super comfortable and very low maintenance. Nina Garcia would surely endorse the classic turtleneck as appropriate wear from Broadway to the Iditarod; Audrey Hepburn made the style coquettish in the 1957 film “Funny Face,” and in the sub-zero temperatures of northern climates, turtlenecks are just plain necessary (necks get cold). I’m guessing Janet Jackson would have welcomed the extra coverage in her “girls-gone-wild” Superbowl XXXVIII halftime performance.

Known as a turtle neck in the US, a polo neck in the UK, or a skivvy in Australia, the garment in question is defined as “an article of clothing – usually a sweater – with a close-fitting, round, high collar that folds over and covers the neck.” No one knows exactly where the style originated, however according to the experts at wikipedia, fishermen and menial laborers began adopting “polo necks” as work wear at the turn of the century. (All you fact checkers out there, just settle down! This isn’t a presidential debate. I’m just trying to make a point, and like the candidates, I don’t care if it’s accurate.)

Fashion historians suggest that over time, polo necks became acceptable casual wear, primarily for men and by the mid 20th century, came to be viewed as an “anti-tie, smart form of dress for fashion conscious mainstream Americans who rejected formal wear.” Feminists turned the polo neck into a unisex item and soon the style became de rigor among teenage girls - ”especially in a lightweight form that emphasized aspects of their figures.” (Eyes up here, boys…) By the late 1950s the “tight polo neck” had been adopted as part of the preppie style among students and as a counter-culture option for left-wing bohemians and intellectuals (see Daisy above). Today, no longer a fad or political statement, the look, and its variant, the “mock” turtleneck, has become a “standard wardrobe item for both sexes and an icon of popular fashion and culture.”

So, There!: I repeat, the once prudish turtleneck is now an icon of popular fashion and culture. (I feel so vindicated.)

And Another Thing: (Caution: psychobabble ahead) In addition to being a pretty amazing piece of clothing, the turtleneck can also represent a state of being. Discovering and embracing your “stuff” is key to an effective approach to creative thinking and living. When you are able to identify essential aspects of your personality, whatever they are, they become powerful and pivotal pieces of information. It’s a matter of personal “brand identity” – accurate self-knowledge can serve as a secure and consistent platform, a pushing-off-point that frees you to move ahead.

The Take-Away: Know thyself. The authentic person is in a state of readiness; nimble and able to receive, consider and respond to people, events, ideas, and other random information and cues that come their way.

In the words of has-been comedian, Dana Carvey, “Well isn’t that special!”