Pre-Ramble: … What’s hot?? … If you live in the Midwest, I don’t need to tell you what’s hot — this blasted heat wave is hot.  The air is hot, the sidewalk is hot, the dashboard is hot, even the grass is hot.  There is a lot of hot going on around here right now.

Well, so, according to the hot spotters at college-fashion-dot-net, the hottest summer accessory for 2011 is … hats!  Apparently, a trendy topper is this summer’s must-have.  Any type of hat under the sun … floppy hats, cowboy hats, straw hats, baseball hats, … hats, hats, hats.  Hats are hot, which means that hats are cool.

Cool hats are hot, and hot hats are cool …

Cleary this stretch of extreme summer heat has gone to my head.

All this talk about hats, hats, hats reminds me of one of my favorite children’s books … The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, written by Dr. Seuss in 1938.  According to the experts at wikipedia, Geisel, who was a collector of hats, got the idea for the story on a commuter train from New York to New England while sitting behind a businessman wearing a hat …

Set in feudal times, the story begins in the Kingdom of Didd, when King Derwin is riding through a street past Bartholomew Cubbins, a poor boy in the market. Bartholomew removes his hat, according to the laws, but another hat mysteriously appears; when he attempts to remove this one too, another one appears again, and this continues, even as he removes more and more hats, each growing in extravagance and beauty from the 451st hat onwards.

Eventually, as Bartholomew is being threatened with death, the 500th hat, studded with massive gems and gilding, comes off and Bartholomew’s head is bare again. Stunned by the beauty of the hat, King Derwin grants him reprieve and trades him 500 gold coins for the 500th hat.

That must have been one very hot hat — !

For today … when it’s 98 degrees with a dew point of 82 (Yes, 82 – a new record for Minnesota), … it is too hot for a hot hat.  In fact, it is also too hot for a cool hat.

The Take-Away: No hats.

Post-Note: Actually, a really hot hat look totally depends on the hotness of the person wearing it. A really hot girl wearing a fun floppy hat, for example, is a way different thing than say, Larry the Cable Guy wearing it.  Same goes for guys … Ashton Kutcher looks hot in a hat ( he also looks hot not in a hat, btw), whereas, again, Larry the Cable Guy, not so much.

I think I might have to check out hottie AK in his new role in Two-and-a-Half Men … I never watched while CS was in it, but Ashton is two-and-a-half times the man Charlie will ever be.

Pre-Ramble:  Hi, it’s me, Daisy – I’ll be your esteemed guest-blogger for today.  Actually, Mom begged me to write the blog because she was all in a panic since it was Monday morning and the blog muse hadn’t kicked in yet. I could tell by the way she was whining and clawing at the refrigerator that things were going to be coming my way. (She always sticks me with the blog when she doesn’t know what to write about.)

To make matters worse, she had just read an article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine (“Say What?” by Rob Walker, 5/31/09, p. 30) about the plethora of opportunities and technological tools available to the individual for expressing themselves to a World-Wide-audience.  The article also eluded to the associated expectation that bloggers will not only have something to say, but that it will be interesting, entertaining and meaningful, and that fresh insights will be shared with alarming frequency. 

… blogs have evolved from something to be updated on occasion to being updated daily, then many times a day, and now social media invites updates hourly, or constantly.” 

No pressure there.

Apparently, a site called “plinky.com” (sounds like a good name for those useless accessory-dogs that fit in purses) generates a daily blog-worthy inquiry; something to spur pithy thoughts, like, “What top five songs should you take on a road trip?” … “Which movie characters would you befriend in real life?” … “Who would win a fight between a bear and a shark?” … or, “What’s the most useless thing in your house right now?”  While those topics are very nice … none of them really speaks to me or the doggie demographic. What about, “List your top 5 puppy names” … “How to win friends and solicit table scraps?” … “Which movie characters would you bite in real life?” … or, “How many ways are there to actually skin a cat?”

The great thing about being a dog is that there is no imperative to be witty. In fact, speaking of speaking, unless someone issues the “Speak!” command, or errant wildlife violates the perimeter, a dog can pretty much keep quiet.  And, while you may be called upon to fetch something or perform an occasional trick, these feats are usually basic and nonverbal. Instead of feeling compelled to yammer on and on on our Facebook page all day, we dogs are inclined – and expected – to sleep. If there’s a sunny patch of carpet and I’m not lying in it, people think there’s something wrong with me.

The Take-Away: Bloggers everywhere should just take a load off. If there’s something compelling to say — say it.  If not — go roll around in the backyard. 

Post Note: Mom wanted me to report out on the bird nest … she wanted me to mention that the Chiplets are getting bigger and featherier, and that the nest was getting really crowded.  Give me a packet of dipping sauce and I can take care of that in 20 seconds.